Tuesday 14 June 2011

What is a Fetish?

Some people aren't sure if they even have a fetish while others think that their fetishes are abnormal. So what is a fetish? If you have a fetish, you are obsessively fixated on either an object or a body part.

You need that specific something for sexual gratification. When you masturbate, you fantasise about that particular thing. Even if you have sex with a partner, you still need to fantasise about that object or have it present for you to get off.

For instance, if you're attracted to brunettes, that's one thing, but if you are unable to get aroused unless you're with a brunette, then you likely have a fetish for brunettes. 


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The term Fetish refers to the sexual arousal brought on by any object, situation or body part not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature. 

Although there are the more common fetishes involving feet, smoking or latex for example, a fetish can be applied to absolutely anything, as the desire exists in the mind of the individual. A fetish may range from a mere desire to an uncontrollable need.
 
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History of fetishes

The word fetish originally meant "charm," and it originates from the 15th century Portuguese word feitico , which means false power, object or charm. For example, when the Portuguese explored West Africa and encountered native religions, they called whatever talisman (totems, carvings, beads) they revered a fetish.

To the Portuguese in those days, the fetishists were those who worshiped the unusual. Later on, however, the implication of the word took on a whole different meaning.

First, a fetish involves the transfer of power from an original source onto a substitute. Second, a fetishist is someone who operates outside the circle of what is characteristically considered normal. Yeah right, what is normal nowadays?


Types of Fetishes

There are many diverse kinds of fetishes, depending on the object being fetishised. Inanimate fetishes come in three varieties -- media, form and animate.

In a media fetish, material is what is obsessed over. Media fetishes include rubber, leather, latex, and silk.

With a form fetish, it's the shape of the object that has great significance. Stiletto heels, knee-high boots and lingerie fall into this category.

Feet, hair, butts, breasts and all that good stuff are also considered fetishes, but since these objects are human, they're called "animate" fetishes.

People can turn anything into a fetish. There are different degrees of fetishism that go from mild to extreme. It's quite easy to tell whether your fetish is getting out of hand. Basically, if your fetish interferes with your relationship or your life, seek the help of a professional.


Number 10

Stomachs

Men and women both agreed that taut tummies make them somewhat crazy. But others said that they would never bed a potential partner if their tummies protruded or hung loosely.

Some guys weren't as picky and admitted that they liked it when a woman had a tummy with a teensy-weensy little pot. One gentleman was very adamant about needing to release himself on a woman's stomach or his experience simply wouldn't be pleasurable.

Number 9

Body piercing

This one was quite popular with the younger crowd (18-35). Everything from bellybuttons, tongues and nipples to eyebrows and penises was not only acceptable, but for a specific few, it was a prerequisite.

One guy told us that he loves tongue rings because after being pleasured by a girl who had one, he couldn't go back to the "ordinary." The feeling of the cool object rubbing against his penis while her hot mouth engulfed him "felt like heaven."

Number 8

Leather, rubber, vinyl, latex

Men seem to love material; perhaps not the actual feel of it, but the rather pornographic quality it gives to a sexual encounter. Although men look to settle down with a sweet woman, most will forever have a fixation with that "bad girl" look.

"Watching a woman move around in anything tight and shiny is a tease in itself," says one gentleman. Another man told me that his girlfriend's entire wardrobe consists of latex and leather.

Number 7

Domination and submission

To my amazement, most Women dominate and most guys submit. HELLO! A lot of women said they love to order their men around in bed like slaves and spank them, smack them, and even penetrate them with a strap-on.

Guys, on the other hand, enjoy submitting to women and being told what to do. I guess most of them are probably tired of performing all the time. Everything I mentioned that the women do -- well, the men enjoy having those things done to them. Welcome to the new millennium.

Number 6

Feet and hands

You knew this fetish was coming didn't you? Men enjoy licking, sucking, kissing, and biting women's feet almost exclusively. Some guys simply can't date a woman if she has ugly feet or toes.

Women, I was surprised to learn, love to suck on men's fingers and some can even orgasm off that alone. "There's something about pleasuring a man's finger as though it was a penis that gives me orgasmic pleasure," said one woman from the US.

Number 5

Fingernails and lipstick

It's the cliche of the '80s: red lipstick and long, red-lacquered fingernails. Well, guess what? Some guys are still obsessed with that whole thing. They enjoy feeling a woman's nails running down their backs.

As well, they like kissing a woman and smudging her lipstick all over both their faces. Why? Because it gives them the feeling of having adulterated sex, i.e. sex with a prostitute.

Number 4

Braids, ponytails, pigtails

Hair, it's no surprise, was a very big fetish among guys. Blond, brunette, redheaded, braided, long, short, thick, curly, straight... you name it, they thought of it. But braids, pigtails and ponytails caught my attention. I have two theories as to why some men are into pigtails.

First, they have a preference for younger women (to say the least) and because of the illusion that pigtails and ponytails emanate, the fetishists feel as though they are fulfilling their desires.

Second, when the hair is tied up in these various ways, it could resemble a whip, to a certain extent. "Women can whip me with their hair: the ultimate turn-on." said one man from Boston. I can definitely see the latter example as working.

Some women have a fetish involving no hair: bald men. They love rubbing a man's bald head whilst in a passionate embrace. Did you hear that Costanza ? You're actually preferred by women.

Number 3

Water

Believe it or not, many variants of water were popular with both men and women. Many women declared that they enjoyed sex best when they could hear or be in running water. Whether it be rain, the shower or even an opened faucet -- so long as they heard water of some sort.

Although it's not exactly water, many women (and some men) absolutely obsess over thunder and lightning. "The powerful sound and the sudden flashes of light give my body a feeling of empowerment. My husband and I make plans to meet whenever we know that a storm is in effect," said a woman from Colorado.

Number 2

Golden showers

I know this one doesn't sound very inviting, but it was a popular one. Some guys love to watch a woman urinate on them as a method of foreplay.  Other guys like to relieve themselves on women before they can actually get down to business.

Why? Well, the reason for this also deals with submission. Being peed on is somewhat degrading and if you allow someone to do it to you, then you're submitting and if you do it to someone else, then they are succumbing to you.

Number 1

Voyeurism and exhibitionism

A lot of people admitted that they couldn't get off with their partner unless they were watching pornography or another couple in the act. Even if they witnessed two people having sex or caught some erotic movies on television accidentally (yeah, right) when not with their partner, they had to masturbate.

Only a minute amount of women admitted that they are voyeuristic to the point where they needed to see sex whilst engaging in it. Oddly enough, however, quite a few women like being watched . One woman from New Orleans wrote, "I make sure to open the blinds fully before I make love with my partner."


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While some fetishes can be seen as more "particular" than others, most people go through phases where they obsess about a certain object, act or body part. Fetishes are highly widespread and are not abnormal in any way.



Information obtained from AskMen

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