Pampering with Massage:30/10/11

Went to visit my submissive scott last night (Saturday).  He was due for a punishment - 10 straps - along wiht a reward to massage my legs - from feet to arse cheeks.  Japanese musk oil was used since the rest of his oils were stale.  Ugh. 

We chatted for 45 minutes about the politics in the local scene, and the obsession by the male d type.

My legs were massaged for one hour.  It was pleasant.  He can only improve. 

I had to urinate three times as the massage was cleaning out my system obviously... ha ha ha.

Nice view of the trees whilst being massaged.

I like being massaged.  Completely non-sexual, just a nice relaxing massage for a glorious Mistress by her lovely secondary submissive.  Delightful.

~Ms Neta~

The difference

Dominance is not about pain play - it's about being in charge, being responsible.
 

Sadism isn't about anger, or revenge it's about a sexual orientation in which you get sexual pleasure from giving pain in certain settings.
 

There are two kinds of sadists - those who do it non-consensually, and that's who many of your serial killers are, and where abusers fit in; and those who do it consensually to masochists to have a sexual orientation in which they get sexual pleasure from receiving pain play in certain settings.
 

Consensual S&M is an intimate sharing of mutually compatible sexual desires, one to give and the other to receive pain.

Reminder about stupidity

Interesting I discovered some news today which was extremely amusing and slightly irritating.

As everyone knows we had our High Protocol dinner which was not well presented by the Hostess.  In fact it was extremely disorganised and the whole presentation was inferior.

What I found out today was the hostess complained about me to another Mistress about my nit picking on the night of the dinner.  Oh really?  If she thought that was nit picking my goddess she'd hate to see my out and out criticism of her bullshit exaggeration about regularly arranging formal dinners.  What a crock a shit the little idiot is. 

Now don't get me wrong I am very pro Women but there are just those handful out there who are so stupid they don't even realise they are stupid!!!

Anyway just had to write that down as a reminder about the poor efforts of this foolish woman who embarrassed the Group and Guests through her ignorance, tastelessness, awful food, inferior style and poor presentation of the dinner.

Yes Ms Neta has spoken, and Ms Neta is not impressed with this little 'big' diva.

Lunch 13/10/11

On Thursday, my submissive bill made me a lovely lunch prior to our big weekend with our interstate guests.  This is what he write...

Thursday, my last day to relax before busy Friday and the High Protocol Dinner. Well I didn't really relax. Washed the car and cleaned inside for my Mistresses presence. Also grocery shopped then made some lunch for my lovely Mistress. Was thinking salmon would go well with avocado and cheese on a sandwich but my Mistress had other ideas so was in a bit of a panic about that. That was the only meat I had to serve on the sandwich. Opened the fridge looking for other options but there were not any. Did this two more times but knew the same result would apply. Crazy ! My Mistress was very happy with the lunch I had prepared for her, though only salmon and cheese sandwiches she did not complain and thanked me for them. A loving and appreciating Mistress certainly makes dog adore her even more ! We had a great chat again. My Mistress was concerned about the planning for the dinner, being non-existent but not to feel bad about it, it is out of our control. We have done all we can.

Isn't he an amazing person, everyone?  And, he belongs to me completely.

My friend: Miss S.

sub scott pic

Received some sad news today.  My friend, Miss S, told me she has two years to live.  She has bone cancer and has been in and out of hospital for weeks.

Last week she was informed she had bone cancer.

Today she was informed she has two years - she may have only 12 months or she may have max. 3 years.  I was shocked and my heart felt heavy.  I suppose I was in denial for a while when I found out she had cancer but the reality hit me today.  I looked at her thinking of the great loss of her.

I am sad because this Woman is lovely, a good person, and perhaps we don't agree on some things but overall she has been a support to me and vice versa. 

Myself, along with others, will ensure the last few years of her life will ROCK.

Sending tight hugs to you my friend.

Journal for the week: 22/10/11 - 30/10/11

Saturday 22/10/11 - Jack and our son went to Melbourne to visit relatives.  The girls and I remained home and had a wonderful night together.

Sunday 23/10/11 - The girls, myself and bill went to MONA.  It was very enjoyable to see the artworks again.

Monday 24/10/11 - Had a busy day dealing with alt life - very irritating - but dealt with to our satisfaction.  John and our son returned from Melb that evening so picked them up from airport.  A late night.

Tuesday 25/10/11 - Woke up with a booming headache.  Not fun at all.  My morning was extremely productive.  I caught up with Miss S at lunchtime and received some sad news.  She has cancer and has two years to live.  I feel sad today.

Wednesday 26/10/11 - Off to see Ms A to chat about her new spanking group and preparation for that.  It is my half day.  Lovely.

Thursday 27/10/11 - Busy day.  Board meeting then function afterwards.

Friday 28/10/11 - It will be a low key day and catch up with bits and pieces.

Saturday 29/10/11 - Catching up with my secondary submissive for some pampering.

Sunday 30/10/11 - In the morning, catching up with a Kinky friend for a coffee.  In the afternoon, my primary submissive will be visiting to assist Jack with some painting and then we will all have a lovely dinner together.  Ain't life grand?!!

Beautiful Women

I like this...

Bondage

Bondage is a tool used by the Dom to restrict the movement of, or to immobilize the sub. Binding can be used for correction, but it is often used for pleasure, depending on the particular D/s relationship. During bondage, the Dom has complete control over the sub, but this depends on the type of binding used. There are a variety of restraints you can purchase at your local adult bookstore, or through catalogs. Each one has its own use and purpose. Regardless of the style of restraint, they should all be somewhat comfortable to wear but restrictive, and should not cut off blood circulation. If the sub is extremely uncomfortable, they will have attention on their body and not fully on the Dom.

During bondage, the Dom has almost complete control of the sub's body, and can use the time for instruction, punishment, teasing, or can bring the sub to orgasm at the Dom's wishes. In order to be bound, there has to be a deep level of trust by the sub for the Dom. It is at this time more than any other that the Dom needs to be very perceptive of the cues the sub will give. When a sub is bound, the chance for injury jumps drastically, and the sub is not in a position to defend or assist herself. It is an act of total submission to allow yourself to be bound, and the sub is trusting the Dom to do the right thing. Therefore, the Dom must be in complete control of himself while handling a bound sub. Drinking or taking drugs before bondage is not recommended.

NOTE: The following items should be used with extreme care. It is very easy to permanently injure or even kill another person with these items. If you are unsure of how to use these items, get the assistance of experienced D/s couples.

Ropes
Rope bondage is the most common. This includes rope, scarves, neckties, belts, or any other multi-purpose item used to restrain the sub. Usually, the hands are bound to each other, but they can be bound to the thighs, waist, behind the back, or above the head. The sub can also be bound to another object such as a chair, shower curtain rod, hook in the ceiling, and many other places where you can tie off a rope. The feet can also be bound together, or apart.

NOTE: Care must be taken with rope. It is very easy to cut off circulation, or cause rope burns. Use a soft, large diameter rope, such as nautical rope. Check your sub frequently. The more the sub struggles, the tighter the rope becomes.

Dominance and submissive roles

In order for any venture to be successful, there must be basic guidelines. I understand that every couple is different, and no two D/s relationships are the same. Nevertheless, basic agreements exists, or else you go outside the boundaries of what is considered a D/s relationship. Every couple will have their own set of agreements, however, I feel there are some that are universal. 

1.     No actual injury should occur to the sub. That does not suggest that spankings, discipline and correction do not occur, they just are not calculated to produce real injury, either to body or mind. In D/s, pain is sometimes used to correct behavior, or as a pleasurable experience depending on the people involved. It is not the central focus of the relationship.

2.     Pre-agreed limits. It is simply an agreement on what the Dom and sub will and will not do. These limits are different for all couples. A pre-agreed limit is simply the boundaries established by the relationship. As an example, some couples put a limit on other people joining them for a scene. It is important to discuss honestly with each other what your personal limits are before beginning a D/s relationship. These are lines that are not crossed without at least some discussion beforehand. These boundaries do change with time as the relationship progresses.

3.     The sub should have a "safeword", or something they can say to halt the present time activity. The safeword is a word that is understood by both parties to mean that action needs to stop. It could be that the sub is in great pain, or the Dom wants to clarify a situation outside of the action he is engaged in. Usually, it is that a line is being crossed that was not discussed in the pre-agreed limits, but just now came up. D/s is supposed to be enjoyed by both parties. Limits and safewords are type of guarantee that things don't get out of control on either side. If the couple are in the middle of a caning, and the sub is having a problem with the situation, the safeword is used to stop the action. When the safeword is spoken, the action must stop at that moment. This will allow the Dom and sub to discuss what the problem is, or correct a painful or dangerous situation outside the "scene".

Communication between the Dom and sub is crucial to a successful D/s relationship. The sub must be willing to talk about their feelings and the Dom must be receptive. The Dom also must be conscious of the non-verbal cues the sub gives. For a satisfying D/s relationship, it helps to have an underlying affinity for the other partner. The Dom is attempting to perfect their sub to their ideal of what the sub should be. The sub must want that goal, too. If either of these points do not exist, the D/s can degrade into an abusive relationship, or the partners go off, dissatisfied. D/s is for the mutual enjoyment of both partners. Limits and safewords assist in ensuring both parties experience pleasure, and neither gives up all control.

Over time the use of safewords and limits may diminish, however many couples in a long term relationship still use them

SampleContract: a Temporary Contract

Sample Contract - Temporary Contract
(Author Unknown)

Contracts can define roles and expectations, and can be great fun to write. These examples are here only to provide suggestions and guidelines. If you and your partner wish to have a contract, write your own according to your own relationship. A contract similar to this one might be used for a week or weekend, or as a trial for a new live-in relationship. TEMPORARY CONTRACT OF CONSENSUAL OWNERSHIP The purpose of this instrument is to: State the full mutual consent of the undersigned in regards to this relationship. Explain the responsibilities and duties of both [Master/Mistress] and slave. Define safewords and their use. Explain the use of punishment. Foster a greater sense of communication between the respective parties. This contract is in no way legally binding, and is meant only as an aid to better understanding of the needs, duties and responsibilities of [Master/Mistress] and slave. I __________________, hereinafter referred to as slave, do of my own free will, and being of sound mind and body, do hereby offer myself in consensual slavery to __________________, hereinafter referred to as [Master/Mistress], for the period beginning at midnight on ____________ and ending at midnight on ____________. This agreement may be terminated at any time before the above named date by either party only in the event of breach of contract. On the above named date this agreement will be reviewed, renegotiated and rewritten, or terminated. Provisions of Contract 1.      Slave agrees to obey to the best of [his/her] ability, and to devote [him/her]self entirely to the pleasure and desires of [Master/Mistress]. Slave also renounces all rights to [his/her] own pleasure, comfort, or gratification except insofar as permitted by [Master/Mistress]. [Master/Mistress] agrees to learn what excites slave through exploration and communication and try to incorporate this into the relationship. 2.      [Master/Mistress] accepts full responsibility of slave. This includes but is not limited to: slave's survival, health, physical well being, and mental well being. Slave accepts full responsibility for informing [Master/Mistress] of any real or perceived dangers or safety concerns, but also agrees that [Master/Mistress]'s decision will be final regarding these issues. [Master/Mistress] agrees that slave will not be punished for respectfully stating these concerns. [Master/Mistress] further agrees to listen to slave's concerns with a clear and open mind. [Master/Mistress] shall endeavor not to inflict physical harm upon slave which might require the attention of someone outside the relationship. 3.      Slave agrees at all times to make [his/her] body readily available to [Master/Mistress] for [his/her] use. Slave will have hair washed and brushed in the style [Master/Mistress] prefers at all times. Slave agrees to wear any and all clothing, makeup, jewelry, etc. that [Master/Mistress] chooses. 4.      Slave agrees to accept the responsibility of using a safeword or safe gesture when necessary. Slave acknowledges that safeword is "______________" and safe gesture is ______________________. [Master/Mistress] accepts the responsibility of stopping activities in progress to assess situations where slave safewords and will, to the best of [his/her] ability, make judgement on whether to modify the activity or stop activity entirely. Slave agrees to hold no ill will due to [Master/Mistress]'s decison. [Master/Mistress] agrees not to punish slave for the use of a safeword or safe gesture. 5.      Slave agrees to answer any and all questions asked by [Master/Mistress] freely, promptly, and to the best of [his/her] knowledge. Slave further agrees to volunteer any information that [Master/Mistress] should know regarding slave's physical or emotional state. [Master/Mistress] agrees to never use this information to harm slave in any way. 6.      [Master/Mistress] agrees to furnish all toys such as vibrators, etc. and punishment implements such as crops and whips. Slave agrees to clean and maintain all toys and implements, have them available for [Master/Mistress]'s use at all times, and inform [Master/Mistress] of any needed repairs or replacements. 7.      Slave states that [his/her] limits are, but are not limited to: _______________________. [Master/Mistress] agrees to never violate these limits without prior negotiation of, and consent by, slave. 8.      Slave agrees to address [Master/Mistress] as [Sir/Ma'am] or [Master/Mistress] unless otherwise directed. Slave agrees to speak respectfully to [Master/Mistress] at all times, including times not spent in a scene. [Master/Mistress] may address slave in any way [he/she] so chooses. 9.      [Master/Mistress] agrees to furnish slave with a symbolic token of ownership. Slave agrees to wear this symbol at all times, except when [Master/Mistress] states to do so would be inappropriate or would non-consensually involve others. 10. Slave agrees and understands that any infractions of this agreement, or any act slave commits which displeases [Master/Mistress], will result in punishment. Slave will gracefully accept punishment and try to learn from it. Slave agrees to assemble the punishment materials as ordered by [Master/Mistress] and assume any position needed to accept the punishment. Slave understands that failure to comply with [Master/Mistress]'s orders will result in a more severe punishment. [Master/Mistress] will inform slave that [he/she] is being punished when punishment occurs, and will explain the reason for punishment either before, during, or following punishment. [Master/Mistress] agrees to discipline only out of a desire to better the slave and [his/her] servitude, and further agrees to never punish out of, or during, feelings of anger. Accepted, understood and agreed to this _____ day of ______________, 20__: By: __________________________, [Master/Mistress] __________________________, slave

Strap On fun

Only 6 inches but still fun.

A 'hot' compliment: 19/10/11

I was driving to work yesterday - waiting at the lights near the Cenotaph.  I was staring straight ahead when all of a sudden I felt like I was being watched.  I turned my head and there was this young teenager grinning at me.  I looked at her and she really was grinning like a cheshire cat.  Then I look in the back seat and there are two boys grinning at me.

My eyes narrowed thinking - what the fuck are they grinning at... but my smile remain fixed, my head turned to the side and I still continued to look at the front and back.

Next moment, the girl winds down her window and says to me: "this man here thinks your hot and wants your phone number".  I blinked and smiled - try to look at the driver and he was laughing, embarrassed, and laughing still.  I responded "oh".  She says "he really thinks your hot".  Now folks this was at 8.50am in the morning when the hell does this sort of thing happen while your sitting in your car - holy shit.  I then said "sorry, but I am married".  She responds grinning "so is he but he still wants your number".  I laughed, and I said "thanks for the compliment but no" "goodbye".  We all smiled, and I drove off.

The guy was black, middle-aged like myself, but I couldn't see if he was attractive or not but hey, a compliment is a compliment and I don't get those often from strangers in my 'vanilla' life these days.  Only oogling from many ha ha ha.

Tuesday morning at 8.50am... hilarious!!

Microbrand: 12/10/11

I decided to re-brand sub bill's microbrand - unfortunately he kept twitching due to nervousness which made me brand a slightly uneven circle - now how annoying is that?!  The main thing is he has been branded and it is temporary but I will over-brand it in a few weeks to even up that bloody circle *chuckles*

I might do a celtic symbol in the near future - perhaps on his shoulder?

Big...

Sure be overweight, many of us are including myself although I do not consider myself obese but if you are going to carry excess weight, wear clothing that is flattering to your shape rather than wearing inappropriate clothing that is unflattering.

When I wear clothing is will enhance my breasts and arse - occasionally my stomach, which is plumb, is obvious but in my opinion its not too hideous... remember, that is my opinion others may think differently *grins*.   I have an attractive face as well as exuding confidence.

Most days, I walk daily to keep obesity at bay and also to keep the energy levels up with my growing family.  They are energetic and demanding, at times, therefore requiring parents to keep up with them.

Anyway back to overweight people who dress in unflattering ways - choose clothes carefully, highlight the areas you love about yourself and disguise those other prominent big parts as best you can.

I know some stunning large women, and those women have poise, confidence and style.  I love those women!!  Those women could show many of the women how to look good and carry yourself well.

 

Bugger those track pants and wenches tops - now peeps, they just aren't flattering on overweight girls... TRULY!

Really?

Why do male dominants proclaim they are dominant but in the next breath proclaim to 'switch' when required.  Why not just say you 'switch' from the get go.  Own your identity rather than masking it.  Be honest with who you are.  Nothing wrong with the label switch.  Don't be ashamed of it, own it. 

And really, what is so dominant about displaying your cock and balls on your profile pic?  Does that make you dominant?  Is that all you have to offer... a cock?  And some of those cocks are small - I get a giggle every so often.  Is that how you see yourself, as a cock attached to a body?  Lots of growing required by some of you male dominants especially the younger ones... although I do know of a few older ones that cock-stride around... I think that is mainly due to insecurity although their perception would be pride!

More thoughts...

Leadership

I have commenced my Leadership module for my study - can someone remind me why I am studying at my age?  Yes, we must never stop learning and I am all about gathering knowledge but most times retain what's relevant to my life both kinky and vanilla.

Why am I struggling... well because, I belong to two teams but at the same time, I don't belong.  I am a Woman among minions.  Yes a wankerish statement indeed but its true.  I am either here nor there.

I make decisions on a daily basis.  I am given instruction by some and give instruction to others but still I am not part of a team unless I count the organisation as a team and all the efforts we do is for the good of the organisation in maintaining its sustainability, its success.  Hm, what an interesting concept, perhaps that is the way to go in approaching this module.  Thanks self for expressing yourself on paper.  I have a direction now to explore. 

I want...

I am feeling hyperactive today.

I want a full body massage.

I want to spank.

I want to restrain someone whilst I cane them.

I want to hurt someone in our dark romance.

I want to scream, scold and breathe harshly as I am consumed with excess energy due to the lack of play recently. 

Oh yes I have been around my boys but its all been preparation for last weekend so not solely for my selfish pleasure, oh I mean, our pleasure *chuckles*

Next week, I will arrange a scene, an intense scene, where perhaps one of them will call orange... or, red?

I want a full body massage.  Anyone want to give me one...now?

A relaxing moment

Just relaxing

Return of a friend

I am back in contact with an old Kinky friend.  We had a falling out about a year or so again and she took the side of my arch enemy - a male dominant.

We met up a couple of weeks back and talked about what happened.  4 hours of talking out shit, and admitting our hurt about the non-communication due the manipulation and aggressiveness of the male dominant whilst she was in a vulnerable position.  He tried all ways to keep her at his side but eventually she felt he was too obsessed by me, and paranoid.

It is so good to have her back in my life.  She is a wonderful and kind person and oh the intelligence that shines - yes, its great to have her back.

Journal: 20/10/11

Today is Thursday and I am off to the Hobart Royal Show soon with the family.

It is 7.00am and it looks like its going to be another beautiful day.  Finally some sunny weather in this lovely state.

I am trying to motivate myself to commence some more studying but I am struggling a little, as well, my left hip keeps hurting, plus I have been unwell for the past week and don't seem to be getting better at the moment.  Being sick is tedious.   I find my brain has slowed down a little but I put that to being unwell... extremely sore throat.

I spoke with my sister, she's the middle sister, last night and it was so lovely to finally catch up with her.  She's in NZ and I am here.  We shared photos of our family.  Both our families are growing up - its amazing but sad we are not in the same country to be close to each other although I would probably throttle her after a period of time as she would me ha ha ha

She even mentioned giving my address details to my brother but a while back but he has never attempted to contact me, the coward.  Some males can be extremely cowardly.

My family is awaking and hanging around me so I will finish up.  I will be out most of the day anyway having fun on the rides, eating hotdogs, viewing animals and buying showbags for the family.  We are going because we did not get to Luna Park in Sydney recently.

Enjoy the day everyone because I surely will  :)

Compliments on my boys (2740)

I received numerous compliments about both bill and scott's service over the weekend from Miss Voluptrixx, Persia, Mistress Meg, Spikey, Astrum and nickzwa.  The dominants were extremely impressed at how well both my boys represented me, and it was commented on how well I had trained them.  They are a credit to me and yes, I am pleased to have both of them serving me.

~Ms Neta~

With Dark Romance in Mind

Skillshares: 15/10/11

I arrived at 7.20pm for the play party and skillshare, and only Miss S was there besides the two dominants that reside at this establishment.

There was no greeting from these two so I continued walking pass them without my acknowledgement.

Immediately, Miss S told me she was greeted rudely by one of the dominants who stated “you’re early”.  Haven’t I heard those words before, say, last night.  Apparently this person was not in the right headspace for a play party.

I said to Miss S don’t worry about it – we’ll enjoy ourselves.

Others started to turn up.  It was so lovely to see them they brought a vitality to a lack-lustre establishment.

Myself, Miss S, Hunter, Hecates Dog, scott, Astrum, Zephyr, Spikey, Raven, Meg, nickzwa, SK and nnet were in attendance.  Such a fine group of people well with the exception of one.

Our FemDom group had a private chat about the High Protocol dinner the previous evening and the hostess was not too pleased with her efforts.  Discussion ensued. 

I also reminded others that it was important for them to start looking for their own submissives as I was not going to be lending my boys out any more.  It was time for them to seek and train. 

Eventually we got stuck into chatting with others.  Our first skillshare commenced.  It was conducted by Raven and Spikey on needle play.  It did nothing for me but others enjoyed and a couple will no doubt start practicing the skill.

Miss S and Ms Neta

The second skillshare was mine -  teaching others to microbrand.  It was interesting to watch others’ styles both dominants picked it up very easily, if not successfully for one, the other was mighty impressive.  All it takes is practice, practice.

After the skillshares were finished, no one was really in the mood to play so we didn’t.  Just lots of chat and laughter.  We finished up about 10.45pm and all went our separate ways.

Our next Group get together is in December – perhaps even a play party at a new venue.  Very exciting!!!

Amusing...

Saw this, and loved it

WOW - Sunday already

Good morning Everyone


WOW I have not been here for a week but that is due to preparing for two huge BDSM events over the weekend.  The weekend is almost over.  I have lots of things to share and some terrific photos.


I'll be back tomorrow with lots of detail.


Time to go make breakfast for the family.


~Ms Neta~

Arrival Home after Social Outing

Feeling Great

Obsessed 2 (2491)

Today, I met with an old friend.  It was very lovely to catch up with my friend again. 

This friend provided me with documentation about this male dominant who is completely obsessed by me.  So much so, everything he does is aimed at trying to destroy my reputation in one way or the another, or to grab my attention.

And when I say everything he does, I mean everything in the Lifestyle.  He does loopy things hoping to have an effect on me.  I don't care but apparently he wants me too.

Today, I laughed at the silliness of this person but his obsession is a little concerning and some other folk are concerned by his unhealthy 'love' for me. He may deny this but its true he has an obsessive love for me. 

Oh well... I will keep a closer eye on things to see how they pan out.

~Ms Neta~
With Dark Romance in Mind

Obsessed 1

I am amused - it appears my stalker has returned and watching everything I do and then comments on something I've commented on, or becomes friends with people I've recently become friends with.  

Its blatant, irritating but still amusing.  It appears he is obsessed by me even though he denies this vehemently.  Aah, the drawcard of Ms Neta's charisma, reputation and beauty.  Modest aren't I?  ha ha ha

Meeting this evening: 6/10/11

I met with the kinkster this evening.  He now identifies as a submissive.

We met at a coffee chain place.  He was prompt.  He was nervous.  I like that.

We chatted about his expectations in this life and what his interests were.

I decided to help by informing him that he should explore spanking, flogging and research D/s relationships, join my local group, make comments on topics which will reinforce his genuineness in this Life and alert Dominants to his existence.  He was very open to these suggestions and has commenced the journey.

We spent an hour together.  And he decided to approach me because he knew I had been around for a while and considered me a leader and prominent in the local scene.  He was seeking answers and felt I was the best person to approach.

I am impressed with his effort in taking the first step in his BDSM journey.  Well done to him.  I hope he succeeds, and with my support, he will do well.

~Ms Neta~

Email received: 4/10/11

I received this from a kinkster yesterday.  He has contacted most Mistresses in this state but never follows through in meeting them even though he has been invited.  I also tried to meet with him but he always avoided a meeting.  Anyway I received this email yesterday which I found quite respectful and 'almost' genuine.  I have arranged for us to meet tomorrow at 5.30pm.  I will keep you informed  if he does show this time.  It will be an interesting meet, I'm sure.

***

Good Afternoon Ms Neta,

i know i have messaged you a number of times before, and i apoligise for that, i was simply eager to learn and serve.

Now i have been here for a while, i understand the protocols involved in contacting someone like yourself.

Please accept my apoligies for the previous said messages.

After a long time, reading and exploring the kink world, i have a greater understanding and respect for it. I am still yet to experience anything, but i am happy to wait to find the right person.

I would very much like to talk more with you, to get a greater understanding of this world, if you would allow me to.

Thanks for your time.

*he signed off with his name which I will not print due to discretion*

Today's lunch: 5/10/11

It was my half day RDO today.  So I decided to visit my submissive, bill.

 

I had a lovely three course lunch made for me today and served beautifully by my submissive.

The first course was prawns.  Yum.  They were really rather delicious.

The main course a lovely chicken, avocado, onion, lettuce salad.  Absolutely delicious.

The dessert was bill’s fantastic fruit salad.  Exquisite.

As I was being served, he was practicing for the High Protocol Dinner for next week.  His ‘bow’ was good.

Afterwards I massaged his sore back with dencorub to help his deep back pain.  

bill will do well as head server for our formal Dinner.

 

 

~Ms Neta~

FDTC Drinkies: 4/10/11

Ten people attended the monthly drinkies on Tuesday.

3 new faces.  7 Dominants, 1 Top, 2 submissives.  It was a great turnout with terrific energy.

We discussed various subjects and agreed upon next day for our Dec, Jan drinkies as well as our next PP in February which will be themed Vampires and Zombies.  Interesting.

Great to see the group growing.

I am concerned about three comments at various times mentioned during the night about the division between the two groups.  What division?  One group is for all local kinksters, and our one is for Female Dominants and male/female submissives.  What's the problem?  Nothing.  I am so sick of the politics.  We are minding our own business but it appears we are getting noses out of joint again because we are minding our own business *sighs*.

Well that's their insecurity not ours.  We will continue to do our thing and enjoy it ignoring any gossip or interference from others.  If they don't like it - bugger them!

Who was present?  Myself, bill, Miss S, SK, H, HD, dave, PP, A, debbie.  A good turn out indeed.


~Ms Neta~

What is Power Exchange?

A discussion on power exchange that I found extremely interesting to read and to obtain knowledge.  All contributions have been credited.


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In the world of commerce an exchange is generally considered to be where a buyer and a seller “exchange” value for value, i.e. a product is exchanged for money. The exchange is negotiated in such a way that the amount of money paid is equal to the value of the product in usefulness. In the Leather Lifestyle, people often talk of a power exchange, or an energy exchange. In this exchange there is still the basis of value for value. In a Dominant/submissive relationship this exchange is very important; it is the foundation of the relationship.

In a successful D/s relationship the principles of value for value in the exchange should be the same as in commerce. Many will speak of the D/s relationship as not being equal in that the Dominant is the one in control, the one in the power position. However, equal does not always mean the same, it can mean equal value. The Dominant gives to the submissive those things that nurture and support the relationship, provides stability and direction. The submissive gives to the Dominant those things that nurture and supports the relationship, provides stability and partnership. The particular “gifts” from each one may be different in outward appearance, but the value of each should balance.

What each gives to the relationship is a part of themselves and the degree to which they give is the measure of the value. The relationship, to be successful and on going, must have balance much like the balance in a ledger book. The perceived value the partner gets are the assets and the difference in what is received verses what is expected are the debits. Each action, each inaction of the partners is recorded in the ledger book as either an asset or a debit. Any single action or inaction, whether asset or debit, may have little consequence, but the sum of all actions impacts the value given or received.  r

It is important for each partner to work toward a positive balance in the relationships ledger book. Each choice, each action or lack of action is recorded in the relationship. Each partner must be aware of their contribution and what side of the ledger the contribution is recorded.  NCMaster

This point is one of the reasons I strongly dislike the trend amongst 'some' s types toward the whole "my submission is a gift" tosh. Their whole assumption and attitude is that they are the only ones bringing anything of value to the table. They totally disregard the value of Dominance, the responsibility being taken up by the Dominant partner, the stability, structure and building that needs work to build and maintain consistently.

Ying and yang are not the same but they are complimentary and equal in value, it takes BOTH to create a stable lasting balance.  RavenMuse

What each gives to the relationship is a part of themselves and the degree to which they give is the measure of the value. The relationship, to be successful and on going, must have balance much like the balance in a ledger book. The perceived value the partner gets are the assets and the difference in what is received verses what is expected are the debits. Each action, each inaction of the partners is recorded in the ledger book as either an asset or a debit. Any single action or inaction, whether asset or debit, may have little consequence, but the sum of all actions impacts the value given or received.

It is important for each partner to work toward a positive balance in the relationships ledger book. Each choice, each action or lack of action is recorded in the relationship. Each partner must be aware of their contribution and what side of the ledger the contribution is recorded.

This in my opinion is wonderfully said. Is it romantic? Perhaps not, but realistic- absolutely. We each have needs that must be met or the relationship will wither and fade. Good relationships take real work but the reward when both parties commit to fostering and caring for it is a great one. I believe it is important to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Instead of thinking, 'Gee, what has my Owner/Master/Dominant /sub/slave/pet done for me lately?' your focus instead should be, 'Have I been doing all that I agreed to do? Lately has my focus been on fulfilling my end of the bargain?' Also equally important, is to recognize and praise all the things that are being done RIGHT. 'Thank you Master/Mistress/Sir/Ma'am/slave/sub/pet for doing 'X' and being 'Y', please know that I appreciate your actions.'

For better or worse, we are the sum total of our parts. Working to improve ourselves a little at a time ultimately improves our interactions and relationship as a whole.  Miss Rebecca

and... more C.B.T

1. Ice is fun. I've also had great success using pumice stones, sandpaper, emery boards, and that kind of thing. Start gently and work up. I like to alternate between teasing him and getting him hard and then CBT so his cock just doesn't know what to do!
2. Get a ginger root and carve a small penis plug. heh heh heh.
3. I like spanking them. We call it "naughty nuts"...you can do all sorts of variations. I will tie them off and smack them, or I like to have him stand with his legs spread and smack them to watch them swing back and forth.
4. whip his cock and tell him you will stop when he comes up with a new way to torture it.
   you will see
5. Get your boy a nice hand made celice like I sell them and let him wear it around his leg, including his balls and penis.
   Every movement will make him more aware of his private parts.
6. Crazy glue. Or staples.
7. For CBT, try tying his cock and balls up tight then writing on them with a ball-point pen. It feels to him like you're slicing them open, and you can write nice humiliating things on them.
8. Scratch, bite, pinch, ice, hot wax (messy!), wartenburg wheel, those little bitty toothy hair clips are my all time CBT favorites, spanking with the brush side of a brush as well as the back side, ring-toss, my rubber-band guns are great fun. There's all kinds of possibilities out there.
9. Listerine breath strips. Or else pop rocks. Spritz his junk enough to make it all stick, then apply candy and spritz periodically to renew sensation.
10. Mix salt and a small amount of olive oil into a dry rub. Massage his cock with it. If you wish to be nice, you can mix in a little essential oil. Nothing quite like exfoliating a hard cock.
11. I am partial to the parachute...
12. Deep heat rub is also fun.

Sadist?

To identify as a sadist is to say you become aroused when you make someone else feel pain.

Full stop.

How you do that is your own personal sadistic expression, whether it takes the form of psychological, emotional or physical pain is just you describing yourself.

Anything you do deliberately to cause pain just because you want to could be considered a sadistic act. You cause pain to bring yourself pleasure. No other reason.

Aleni

Thoughts: 3/10/11

I am feeling somewhat panicked.  We have our High Protocol Dinner in two weeks.  We have intersate guests joining us, my two submissives will be servers along with two interstate submissives and GUESS WHAT???   Preparation has not even commenced to a place where I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Holy shit!!!

The Hostess who is organising it is busy at the moment so I am awaiting her to send me the program so I can get into action and start the ball rolling.  Did I say, Holy Shit!!!

Tomorrow I am catching up with some of the Female Dominants for our monthly drinkies and I am looking forward to seeing current and new members.  sub bill will accompany me being the loyal submissive he is.

There may be 6-8 of us so that will be a nice little group to be with.

OK back to the preparation for the High Protocol dinner.  Let me go through the checklist.

• menu set
• all servers to be confirmed
• servers attired almost confirmed.
• speech restrictions - when do they commence?
• who will the servers be allocated to - confirmed, almost.
• who is setting the table?
• who is plating the food and serving?
• what wine will be served?
• when do servers sit down and eat?

Strewth - I feel a headache coming on...

May I also add - I am not the organiser of this event but somehow I think it may fall to me to ensure the whole operation runs smoothly.  *sighs*

Thoughts: 2/10/11

I am astounded at 2 sets of couple who have split up and 1 couple who almost broke up.

I was very upset to hear the news as all three sets of couple seemed solid, and happy.  And two of the couples I sincerely adored *sighs*. 

Aaah how things can change in the blink of an eye...

These couples are on a site that I frequent and their relationships have always been very public.  Its not surprising this 'public focus' may have put pressure on them to ‘perform’ and proclaim their successful relationships to everyone.  Although no judgements here.

I do not permit my two submissives to be on this site as I know there are some vicious people who would try to influence them, or even possess them.  I will protect my property at all costs.  Perhaps this is considered selfish but it is my right to be so.

My primary submissive has been me over a year… and I would imagine he will be in my service for a long time.  However, if a girlfriend comes into his life, I would not hesitate to release him in order to enjoy his life.

My secondary submissive has been with me for a few months.  He is good person, too busy in life and therefore not much connection time for us due to his busy life and/or tiredness.  He has been loyal though and that is important to me.  I will give him more of my focus from hereon in.

Anyway just my thoughts about the sad situations that occurred over the past couple of weeks.

~Ms Neta~

With Dark Romance in Mind

Other Blog

Please feel free to check out my other blog.

http://msnetaerotica.blogspot.com/

Can Obedience Get Boring?

Another discussion I enjoyed reading, and so are sharing...

 

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Can obedience get boring? Do Dominants like a challenge or would they prefer someone who is obedient? Does it get boring for subs/slaves not to get in trouble?

I think only if you allow it. There has to be a balance with in the relationship, testing waters which for some means feeling loved through corrections, there is a comfort zone most all fall in, and during this time one or both might feel that the other doesnt care as much as they did or could. So unless you talk about it, which seems to be a huge issue with so many people, the submissive might test the waters and see if he still cares enough to put her in line. And as for the Dominate he doesnt normally feel the same, but still wants to know he has control over her and maybe more over everything going on. So he will lay down new rules to add to the relationship if he feels something might be missing. Communication is the key, if you talk face to face, through msg, or emails, or journals, you just have to make sure each other knows what the other is going through.

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For me obedience does not get boring as I am not always that good at it, so I am always trying to change my behavior or the way in which I respond to situations. Since I will never be perfect at it I will always be working at it. Some periods of time may be more active then others but the challenge of trying to change and to be come more obedient has not been a boring path at all.

I suppose if the Top person gets bored they will find a way to make it interesting.

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I do not think so. As regulars know, my Dominant does not like to punish me. Anyway, for awhile I have not been punished and thought all was well. This morning I got a discipline spanking I won't soon forget. I guess things were building and came to a point over the weekend. Almost without warning, my ass was blistered. So, boring, I think not if discipline comes whenever she deems it necessary.

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For me, obedience without struggle becomes boring. Also, for a submissive it would mean reduced opportunities for maintenance and deepening of submission.

But this twofold problem is easy to resolve for a Dom who knows his submissive well enough: define, amend and change rules over time so as to ensure that there will always remain grounds for struggle. evil grin with serious undertone 

Thus far my views. I am interested in hearing what slavetothegrave and other submisisves here feel on this issue.

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I am going to try and put this into words that make sense. When I am in that dynamic of D/s, there are always times that I will push. Just like there are times when the dominant pushes to see if my boundaries have changed or are less firm. As the comment above, said dominants change the rules or modify them. I find that pushes the wrong buttons in me. It says the Dom does not know what he wants.

I am by inclination, a button pusher. Frequently, I find someone who wants their buttons pushed one way or the other. In D/s for me there is usually an unspoken tacit agreement that on occasion without malice or disloyalty or disrespect, I will do something that allows us both to interact differently or for him to display his dominance of me in a public fashion if we are in a lifestyle setting.

It is a dance that allows us both to grow and change the sensual and sexual part of our dynamic. It is about a smartmouth and an attitude that works. It occasionally alters the protocol but rarely. It simply strengthens the sense of adventure.

So sometimes when I am in that kind of a relationship, I wave bye bye to obedience and see how well Sir likes to have his buttons pushed. Yep, it means I am in trouble but sometimes to know that we work, it is worth it.

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my Master prefers for me to be obedient. I try very hard to be a good girl for him. Sometimes I will be a bit of a brat to get attention. But Master will allow it to the certain point but won't let me get out of line too much. :)

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This requires more time than i have but i wanted to respond before the discussion gets old. i've only had 2 discipline oriented romantic relationships and both had lasted a few years. there were definitely uncomfortable periods in which i didn't know if my submission moved me to a place that was overly dowdy. i certainly felt a strange insecurity that i wasn't a "catch" anymore. i remember it becoming a clingy sort of feeling, i didn't feel attractive anymore. i didn't communicate these horrible thoughts and the relationships dried up due to this and other issues unrelated. so i guess i have the same questions, do disciplinarians really want complete submission?

How To?

How would or could a woman go about kidnapping a man without having to resort to having male helpers?

Comments from others:

Intimidation I think can play a big part of a female kidnapping a male. She could use a weapon in the most obvious setting to get him somewhere and keep him quiet. Once he's somewhere secure she could then tie him and he would be all hers.

Less obvious ways you could have a scenario where the couple pretend to be on a date. They could get in the car at the end of the 'date', with the woman driving and she offers to let him smell her new perfume. She soaks some of the new perfume on to a handkerchief and when he realises it's actually chloroform she could produce a weapon and force him to keep smelling. Then it's a continuation of what happened above she can use the weapon to get him out of the car and in to a more secure location.

I know it's difficult given that as fantasists  - we strive for a degree of reality. But even when I am the kidnapper I know I would struggle to carry a dead weight and get it in to my car safely. The element of co-operation from the victim is going to be present in our games I think. I got mock kidnapped by an ex/gf outside Waterloo Station in London one time. Of course I knew what the game was, so when she pulled in to a car park and gagged me I was compliant. We ended up in lock up garage which was her 'lair' where she tied me and played with me.

I hope that helps!

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I think my problem with both of those is that the weapon is a bit too risky as a man might still be inclined to struggle and since this is a real endeavour the woman is not going to want to stab him.

Again Chloroform is a very dangerous drug and not one I would feel comfortable employing, on the other hand there are safer sedatives which might work. (I realise of course none are without risk)
I a real threat (I.e pain, or damage to something sentimental, or blackmail, or monetary...)

Combined with some initial handicapping that the man could be tricked into (ie blind fold or handcuffs) sounds most feasible to me.

Certainly, if a woman I was playing with was holding a cattle prod for instance I would be more scared of that, as she could use that but I would never believe she would actually stab me.

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Sorry, I realise chloroform for real is v.dangerous and I wouldn't advocate a real weapon as you say. There's got to be an element of pretend and playing along, so I have used a toy pistol or a handkerchief with some perfume or after shave on.

It's just a symbol at the end of the day that you have to comply with the kidnapper. I'm sure we would all love a danger free version of chloroform but that's not going to happen so we have to all come up with alternatives.

I like your trickery/blackmail idea, could be some fun to be had with that as a method.

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When it comes to real life scenarios. It has usually been when a man kidnaps a woman, it will be a single male committing the act. There are even situations where a single male could capture more than one woman at once.

But when it is a woman capturing or kidnapping a male and then raping him, it is usually a group of women working together.

So in the fantasy play, it would probably play out in that way too.

Another situation that could work is when a woman is flirting with a man, the man will usually be off-guard not expecting aggressive or criminal behavior from a woman. So a woman could easily pull out a pair of handcuffs and slap them on his wrists. Most men wouldn't expect anything. Once he is immobilized he belongs to the woman and she can do whatever she wants. This would be especially true if there is a huge size difference. If a 6'8" football player is handcuffed by a little 4 foot tall cute young woman, he isn't going to have his guard up. Especially if she seems to be flirting.

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I have a similar scenario that I play in my brain. A rather small young woman (or a tall young girl) is cornered in a room or even in a forest where she realizes she cannot run away from this big brute and the obvious bulge in his pants.

She decides to take the initiative and turn the tables by flirting and saying that she has to get into the mood slowly. She starts by slowing manoeuvering him against a tree or a wall then start to undo his trousers. At this point of course he figures he is as good as in. She drops his pants around his ankles. Now he cannot run after her should anything go wrong.

The head of his huge cock extends out the top of the elastic band on his BVDs and she says let me see how big it is. At the same time she puts her hand in his underwear and pushes down exposing his now totally erect soon to be useless weapon and pushes the elastic under his scrotum so that his balls are now pushed upward and outward making a purrrfect target.

At the same time she has put her hands under his armpits and on his shoulders pulling herself off he ground by up to 12 inches and hanging there. At the same time she now quickly lifts her tiny knee and plants it directly in his scrotum. A look of astonishment and fear quickly grips his pathetic brain as he realizes his predicament. She throws her weight forward to keep him from falling on top of her. In rapid succession she pulls herself up each time she raises her knee into the target, his huge balls. One, two, three she continues to lift and kick each time doubling the impact by pulling upward with her arms. His balls are hers!

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In a fantasy with a degree or realism (somewhat like requiring a set of natural rules, in SciFi), barring superior weaponry or surprise, the usual situation would be that the woman is aided by other women or men. Is that not how gangs function? Now, for example, if a group of aggressive women picked off one man at a time, then they could divvy up the prizes later, after all of the captives are secured. 

But also, I disagree that in any given pairing, the woman is naturally weaker, slower, smaller, or less skilled than the man, so that she could not overpower him. Statistically, yes, because men are ON AVERAGE bigger, stronger and/or faster, but many random individual pairings fall far from the norm of the combined distributions. 

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As already suggested above, she could handcuff him when the guys guard is down. A more interesting scenario (done to George on Seinfeld) would be that the woman would get the guy into her bedroom and then get him to agree to be handcuffed because it turns her on so much, THEN turn the tables on him after he's cuffed.

The other ways I'm thinking a woman could immobilize a man would be her dressed/acting as some kind of cop/agent and 'arrest' him, or use a stun gun/threaten to use a stun gun especially on his groin.

Because a woman by herself is usually not going to be as strong as the guy, there is the need for her to deceive/outsmart the guy to get him restrained. As a male sub that would make the game more exciting to me.

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Whenever I'm writing up a femdom story, I like emphasizing the size differential. To me, there's something strangely erotic about a smaller woman taking down a larger man. I usually write non-consensual stories though, which means not only subduing the larger man, but keeping control of him. Getting the guy drunk and/or drugging his drink is how my female characters usually get control. Although I've also introduced a kick to the balls, a taser, or chloroform into some stories to overcome the male.

If trying to replicate in a roleplay with a consenting partner, how about this? You meet the woman at a bar and you're both drinking alot, but she's secretly substituting something else for alcohol so that she remains sober. Then when it comes time to leave, she tells you that you are in no condition to drive and offers to drive you home. On the way home she stops in a remote location she's chosen in advance, climbs over on top of you as if she's suddenly gotten the urge for sex, and starts pulling your shirt off. When your arms go back as you try to get them out of the sleeves, she leans into you (maybe with her breasts in your face for distraction), reaches around behind you (supposedly to help you get the shirt off) and quickly snaps cuffs on your elbows or wrists. And while you're still trying to make sense of what just happened, she slaps a piece of duct tape over your lips and pulls a hood (it doesn't have to be a leather or rubber bondage hood, but just a bag) over your head to restrict your senses.

At this point there are several ways this could go. She could just tighten down your seatbelt to keep you in the passenger seat (assuming you're not worried about running into the police on the way to your destination) or pull you out of the car and march you around to the trunk and shove you in. Your legs might still be free, but blinded by the hood and in a remote location, where are you going to run? And are you going to try anything when you don't know where your female tormenter is or what she is about to do. Is she behind you about to kick you behind the knees to bring you down? Or in front of you about to kick you in the balls? Does she have a knife? If so, what direction is she going to come at you from? Of course, since it's consensual roleplay, we're talking about an implied threat rather than actual violence. Knowing you're helpless to defend yourself, you climb into the trunk rather than resisting.

Then again, that remote location (i.e. a deserted warehouse) could be the destination and she could be leading you elsewhere instead of the trunk of the car. bwahahahahaha

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Just thinking about it makes me drool. Being helpless and forced in the trunk then taken somewhere and raped by a woman.

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