I hope you know, no matter what...

(I came across this writing and it reminded me of someone, and I would like to share it with you all. Author unknown.  Thank you to the insightful Author)

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...WHEN you meet your Soul Mate, they will have an instantaneous effect on you.

A Soul Mate is someone who makes your knees go weak and you'll have to catch your breath.

With but a single glance they'll lessen your burden and with a smile, they'll warm your heart.

You feel a sense of connection with this person. They will touch you so deeply on so many levels, and with them you will want to share your inner most secrets.

For the first time in your life someone will make you feel almost like a god(dess).

Once you have met your soul mate your life will never be the same. One of the things which makes this experience unique is the sense of a meaningful spiritual experience. You both feel like this is meant to be and that you've been together before in a past life.

Normally for some, it is several months, weeks or days before physical intimacy occurs. But when you meet your soul mate something happens, the pull or drive to become physically intimate overwhelms many, and one finds it happening in the initial meeting. There's a sense of safety with this person. You knowingly let go of your defenses and an invisible bond is instantaneously formed. Unlike other relationships in the past there will be no game playing or hidden agendas which plagued you in the past.

There is something about the passion you share with a soul mate. It goes beyond just " body parts". For a moment in time you two are the only ones who exist in the universe. Hearts beating in rhythm as your souls have intertwined themselves becoming one. Your personal energies melt and you feel the flame of creation move through you like a wave of the ocean on a hot summers day. Soon you begin to lose track of where you begin and your partner ends. From within the depths of your raw passionate union, your soul mate will know how and where to touch you.

It will be different, intense and more gratifying than lovers of your past. They will look into your eyes and you will feel your soul open wide. For some people, there is the "Rush" All the love, all the lust, all the need will surge forth from your soul like captives from a prison. At this moment you will know what it means to get lost within someone's eyes. You will experience a touch you have never felt before your love and passion will rise to new levels.

But in the end as you lay there, as the warm afterglow begins to fade, you will realise what just happened was not sex.

"Sex, simply doesn't feel this good."

To put it simply, your soul mate will be able to make love to you in ways no one else will be able to match.

Author unknown
(94068)

Subspace

Subspace (also sub space, headspace, flying, or floating), in the context of a BDSM scene, is the psychological state of the submissive partner. The term is unrelated to the mathematical term subspace.

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive's mind and body is in during a deeply involved play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses. The psychological aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience. Deep subspace is often characterised as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Deep subspace may also cause a danger in newer submissives who are unfamiliar with the experience, and require the dominant to keep a careful watch to ensure the submissive isn't placing him or her self in danger. Many submissives require aftercare.

Physiological Processes

During the scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a sympathetic nervous system response, which causes a release of epinephrine from the suprarenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins and enkephalins. These natural chemicals, part of the fight or flight response produce the same effect as a morphine-like drug, increasing the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense. Producing a sort of trance-like state due to the increase of hormones and chemicals, the submissive starts to feel out-of-body, detached from reality, and as the high comes down, and the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, a deep exhaustion, as well as incoherence. Many submissives once reaching a height of subspace will lose all sensation of pain, as any stimulus causes the period to prolong.

Some Simple Guidelines for a Dominant

• Safety first. Shit happens, be prepared. Always.

• Try to make sure your sub suffers no non-consensual harm. If it happens, apologise.

• Try to respect everyone, not just your fellow dominants. Manners go a long way.

• Try to avoid doing the ultra kinky shit whilst totally and utterly hammered. Bad things may happen when you don't have your full faculties.

• You're in charge, behave that way.

• Recognise that other couples do things differently and acknowledge you DON'T have all the answers.

• Try to use common sense at all times.

• Show discretion.

• Don't take things out on your sub. If you have a problem, communicate with them. Most problems can be solved by simple communication.

• You are human and not perfect

(93170)

Ideas for degrading fun

From one of my online boys from many years ago... just sharing, and please feel free to try the ideas...

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I'm always looking for creative ways for my Mistress to degrade me when she doesn't feel like having sex but is amused by my need to orgasm. 

Following are seven ideas for our play. Would love to hear what you think and have you add your own suggestions.

1. Red Light, Green Light. Have him start and stop masturbating on command until he cums.

2. Mistress Says. He must follow every command that begins with “Mistress Says…” For example, order him to strip, play with himself, twist his own nipples, bend over and show you his ass, spank himself, get down on all fours and show his thrusting technique and of course, “Mistress says cum!” Your choice if he has to lap it up or not.

3. 10 Seconds: He has 10 seconds to make himself cum on your command, or he goes to bed hard. He’s not allowed to touch his cock till you give the 10-second command, but you can decide how much other non-cock stimulation/teasing he receives before you tell him “Go!”

For example you could have him stand naked before you with his hands on his head and his legs spread and you can tease and torture him as your mood dictates. If you don’t feel like touching him, you can order him to perform various acts on himself similar to those in Mistress Says before his 10-second countdown.

4. Lap it up: Order him to masturbate onto a plate and then get down on all fours and lap it up till it’s all gone. Explain that if he doesn’t do it, he won’t have sex or be allowed to masturbate for a week and at the end of the week, he’ll just have to jerk off and eat it, or face another week of denial.

5. Look Mistress No Hands: Ram a dildo in and out of his ass and make him cum without touching himself. For added spice, tie his hands and/or make him lap it.

6. Give him a buzz. Order him to lay perfectly still (or tie him spread eagle if you prefer) and apply a high speed, powerful vibrator to his cock and balls. When you find the spot you like, just hold it there and let the tension build till he explodes. If you’re feeling wicked afterward, continue to use the vibrator on his manhood till he screams and begs you for mercy.

7. In Your Face. Have him lie on his back with his ass in the air and his legs jackknifed to his shoulders so that his cock is pointing down at his face. Stand over him for the best view and have him jerk off into his waiting mouth.

Last Night

Last night, I caught up with my ex-submissive who I have known for 6 years and every so often we catch up for some fun... i.e. dinner and chats.

I had a dreadful day yesterday, in fact the past 2 days have been rather stressful due to the organisation undergoing inspections.  Anyhoo, my friend had text me throughout the day to catch up and in fact he wanted to scene with me... a take down scene.  It seemed like a good idea in the morning, by lunchtime not so much, by home time - absolutely not.

I was exhausted.  I got home late, flaked on the couch, felt edgy, had a bath drawn for me, soaked my curvaceous body in the hot water, sipped a bottle of apple cider, and focussed on relaxing by calling on reserve energy to bring me back to the go-getter that I usually am.  I had decided to catch up with my friend after all since he encouraged me to at least have a drink with him to wind down.  I agreed a drink would be nice, and to see him as he had travelled from Melbourne and always likes to catch up with me when he visiting although last time I declined due to being busy.

I dressed in a grey tight fitting skirt, 6 inch stilettos, a dark brown light wool short sleeved cardigan that hugged my curves, applied mascara and pink lipstick.  I let my hair down after being in a bun all day and it flowed around my shoulders.  I looked and felt better although my mindset was still very serious.

I met him at our local drinking place, and to see his lovely eyes and smile uplifted me.  He loves me, as a friend, and respects and admires me as the Dominant he knows I am.  Actually he has always been enthralled with me, and it showed again.

We chatted about his career and partner.  I spoke about the my year and the changes that have occurred.  We exchanged, it felt good to speak with someone neutral, not wanting anything from me, well besides being pissed on, humiliated and beaten.  I nibbled on his pizza and fries, drank a glass of Merlot and laughed.

The local place decided it was time to close their joint early due to there being no other customers except us so our night was over - an hour later - but for me that was quite sufficient.  I just wanted to go home and rest some more.  He walked me to my car and hugged me before we departed...as friends.  It really was nice to be hugged with no other agenda other than hugging a friend.

Did I mention I had asparagus for dinner?  Asparagus and Golden Showers, look that up folks *hehe*

Sensuous Caning - How to

An article I just had to share with those who are very interested in canes/caning.  Thank you to Conrad Hodson for this most informative piece.

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SENSUOUS CANING
Copyright (c) 1997 by Conrad Hodson


INTRODUCTION
Canes have a deserved reputation as The Victorian Terror Weapon. To most submissives (slaves/bottoms), they mean severe punishment; to sensation-seeking S/M bottoms, overload. If we have care and patience, however, canes can be used in a loving and sensuous way. The very stiffness of a good cane, that makes a hard stroke so intense, allows the lightest taps to be given with perfect control. And a light cane stroke is easy to aim, unlike a flexible whip that sags and flops at low power. In the kind of sensuous play I'm describing here, light strokes are far more prevalent and important than heavy ones.

This style is a matter of trust, patience, and finesse. If you can't gain, maintain, and deserve the bottom's trust, the whole thing is probably going to fail, or fall far short of what it could be. As for patience, don't even start a scene like this unless you have at least an hour available, and two is better. Finesse? Well, on two occasions bottoms have gone to sleep while I was caning them. They woke up black and blue, and giggling. That's finesse.

I'm not bragging, and I'm not saying I'm some kind of Caning God. It's learnable. That's why I'm writing this.

CANING TECHNIQUE
A single cane can deliver an entire symphony of sensation. A snappy blow that is pulled back a bit just before impact will emphasize surface sting. The same sort of blow carried past the moment of impact, with follow-through, will have much more thud and penetration.

The greatest intensity is delivered by the outer third or so of the cane's length. This is the portion that leaves marks, in a hard blow. In a light blow, this part of the cane will have a relatively stingy feel. Closer to the top's hand, the cane moves much more slowly, and the sensation will be more thuddy or even massage-like. This allows a good way of maintaining rhythm and atmosphere while giving some relief to a bottom who is showing signs of overload.

The very tip of a cane can be used on many targets that a full-length blow might harm, or be unable to even reach. Tip shots can work the inside of the sweet spot, the bottoms of the feet, the muscles between the spine and the shoulder blades. A traditional cane stroke in any of these areas would cross bony areas, causing bone bruises and pain that is not at all erotic; a hard one might chip bones or crush nerves, and cause truly harmful damage. DON'T try for these with any force until you are utterly sure of your aim! Lighter tip shots are much safer, and feel much like percussion massage.

SETUP
I prefer to have the bottom lying flat. When a person goes as deeply into bottom space as I hope to send them, the mere act of keeping their balance will be a distraction. Having them lie on a table is easiest on the top's back in these long scenes; massage tables are ideal, and cafeteria-type tables are sturdy and about the right height. Arrange padding if the table doesn't already have it; I usually bring a single-bed sheet and a roll of foam to parties and demos.

Second choice is ground level; on a mattress or futon, or the foam pad. Here the bottom will be laying prone and the top will sit or kneel beside them. On table or floor, it's nice to have three or four feet clear on either side of the bottom, so that you can switch sides. Since the tip of the cane always hits the hardest, switching sides will help to keep the caning symmetrical. Also, it allows the top's other hand to rove over a different part of the bottom's body. From one side, you can stroke, massage, caress, and collect feedback from feet, legs, and buttocks, and play with their crotch if it's that kind of scene. From the other, you caress their face, massage their back, grab hair or the back of their neck, play trust games with your finger between their teeth as you cane them...

A caning can be an awkward thing to deliver when the bottom is standing, especially if the top is taller. There is a strong tendency for strokes to land too high, on the bony upper half of the butt, when the bottom is standing up. Also, the sweet spot is hard to reach from this position. Going to one knee may help. Occasionally a play space may have a stage or platform of some kind, with bondage facilities near the edge of it. If you have the gear and know how to do it safely, suspension may also offer a way to get the bottom a foot or two higher.

I try to avoid the traditional bent positions for caning, where the recipient crouches or bends over a chair. For one thing, this stretched skin is much more sensitive. Victorian punishers wanted overload; for a sensuous caning we want to avoid it. For another, the tailbone comes up into harm's way when one bends over, and a hard canestroke is quite capable of chipping it and inflicting a painful lifetime disability. Damaged tailbones don't heal! There is a lot of perfectly good buttock area that is hard to work safely from these positions; when the bottom's body is straight, much more of the tailbone is protected. When in doubt, run your finger down the spine, all the way into the crack of their ass; you can feel how far the tailbone goes. Check this each time; the length varies surprisingly among different people.

WARM-UP TECHNIQUE
The best precondition for a trip to Endorphin Heaven is for the bottom to be deeply relaxed, trusting, not anticipating the next stroke but rather accepting. Going too hard or too fast will drop them out of their bottom space (that warm, accepting state of trust) at just the time when you should be building it up. Their hindbrain will take charge, and its ancient survival reflexes will start screaming "We're taking damage! Get us the hell out of here!" A good bottom wants the scene to go well, and will be working to control panic and nervousness. For this particular style of scene, the top must build the intensity so smoothly that the bottom is supported rather than challenged in their efforts to stay centered and accepting.

Of course, some people warm up much faster than others. "Smooth" is one thing; boring is quite another. In initial negotiations, I mention this, and if we are using the "traffic light" safewords I point out that "green" is also a color, and that they can always call for a speedup if they want one.

As we begin, I like to promise that I will escalate the intensity very gradually - something like "no stroke will be more than a third harder than I've already given you". This helps them relax. You need to keep this promise, too; surprises will tense them up for a long while afterwards. Resist the temptation to tease them or fake them out, for the same reason.

I often begin with an ordinary massage. I explore the muscles of the back, buttocks, and legs, checking for tense spots and taking whatever time is needed to relax them and establish an expectation of pleasure from my touch. Massage is itself an endorphin releaser, and very non-threatening. When a bottom is new to this technique, their delighted surprise can relax them, build a lot of trust early on, and give them confidence that there are rewards to be had in exploring with you.

After achieving relaxation of any tense spots, do a little fingertip percussion on the muscled areas of the bottom's body. (Fingertip percussion is what a pianist does to strike several close keys all at once.) The fingers of one or both hands are crooked, and struck down in to the target area. Work the upper back, to either side of the spine, this way for a while. Do the same to the lower part of the buttocks, and down the backs of the legs. This sort of sensation is a perfect bridge between massage and flagellation; it's especially good for introducing beginners.

Now begin with the cane, tapping very lightly over the areas that had the percussion warmup. Don't tap any bony areas; this is a good time to develop the habit of avoiding them. Use the cane tip to reach areas that have bone close alongside. The blows should have less force than your fingertips did; the cane is hard and stingy, and the idea is to introduce the cane without breaking the relaxed and trusting glow of your warm-up. Along with ordinary light taps, mix in a few that are feather-light; with practice you can deliver a flutter as light as the landing of a flock of butterflies. This is a wonderful contrast to harder strokes; as endorphins build up such a light flutter will often bring on a fit of giggles.

As you work, do single taps, double taps, quick flutters of various intensities. Your goal here is twofold. You are trying to teach the bottom that they cannot predict your strokes, but that it doesn't matter because they won't be harmed. It is a non-verbal trust-building exercise.. Done with care, you can give the bottom that wonderful open acceptance of whatever happens, the key to the very best bottom space.

Another key to good bottom space is breathing. Deep, careful breathing controls panic, and this is vital as intensity builds. Panic is really the unpleasant portion of pain; take panic away and what's left is just strong sensations. All kinds of wonderful things can be done with strong sensations...

If your bottom has ever done yoga, meditation, natural childbirth training, or anything like that, remind them that deep, slow breathing is important here, too. If they have never had such training, coach them as you go. If their breathing becomes short and choppy, ease up and remind them to relax and breathe deeply (unless they're coming, of course; that's to be encouraged, not interrupted with good advice!)

If your other hand keeps up a steady contact with caresses and massage, not only will it relax and comfort the bottom but you will be able to detect twitches, tension, or relaxation. Especially with bottoms who aren't very verbal or vocal, this is the best feedback you can have.

If they are vocalizing, watch out for a sharp edge to their tone. It warns of gradually building tension - if you continue to hear it, something isn't working, the bottom space is eroding. The muscles under your other hand should be more and more relaxed as the caning proceeds; if not, it's also a sign that your buildup is not succeeding. This sign is apparent even in a silent bottom.

As you gradually build the intensity, one useful trick is to follow a harder blow with a quick light rain of flutter strokes, right into the same area. These will distract the bottom from any overload (within reason) and take them back to the bottom space that has just been successfully processing light stuff. However, the harder blow will have done its work of moving the whole scene to a slightly higher level.

FURTHER CANING TECHNIQUE
If your warmup has opened the way for more powerful strokes, care must be taken. Canes may seem stiff, but a hard stroke can bend them ninety degrees and more, and a wraparound with a cane can be downright dangerous. Wraps are most common when a top goes to full power, after a well-aimed series of warmup or measuring strokes. The problem is in the top's body dynamics: the momentum of the arm goes up exponentially with increased speed, so the whole body is pulled forward as a heavier stroke is delivered. The full-power stroke automatically reaches several inches further than the lighter stroke that was supposed to "gauge the distance". It's physics; you can't keep it from happening, any more than you can walk on the ceiling. What you can do is allow for it, and train yourself to compensate. You can ease your feet back a bit, or pull your elbow or shoulder back as part of the swing. Or you can do as Mistress Nan Burrows recommends, and take your aiming stroke so that the cane tip lands in the middle of the far cheek, no further. This aiming point will land a full-power stroke that safely spans the full width of the buttocks and no further.

If you do wish to play with harder strokes, practice! Learn to pay close attention to where your cane is landing; this is how you learn to correct your aim. Mistress Nan advises a lot of practice on a cushion. There is a certain kind of upholstery that shows the stroke, but each blow shakes the surface and erases the trace of the preceding blow. Perfect feedback! The upholstery looks to be a kind of heavy-duty velvet; check thrift stores.
When you are ready to try powerful strokes on a human partner, try putting a cushion or blanket roll on the far side of them. This will catch a wraparound harmlessly. Be sure to confine hard strokes to the buttocks below the tailbone and the upper half of the thighs.

CANING AND OTHER PLEASURES
Sexual connections: perhaps a quarter of women, and a very few men, can actually get orgasms from the cane. I think this is incredibly hot, and it makes me very jealous! There will be others who may not actually climax, but get extremely turned on, which can off

The shock waves made by a cane are directional - they tend to continue through the target in the general direction the cane was moving when it hit. In fact, if you slide a hand under your partner's thigh or belly, you can feel the shock of a medium cane stroke go right through them. The "sweet spot" in the lower butt, to either side of the crack, is sweet for this reason; blows here can send waves up into a whole complex of muscles, nerves, and engorged tissue that is directly involved with sexual excitement. Many bottoms will enjoy a steady rhythm of light or medium blows on the sweet spot - especially if they are angled to send their shock waves up and forward. At least one lady I know has called the effect a "rattan vibrator".

One good sign of this sexual connection is a face-down bottom whose hips begin to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. You might try matching that rhythm, with light or medium strokes. Or use your other hand to massage the nerve points around the pelvic dimples and to either side of the last few inches of the spine.

POWER AND ROLEPLAY
Often when I do this, the scene is "pure S/M", sensation for sensation's sake. No roleplay, and no more power exchange than a massage. The concern for smoothness, the bottom's comfort and welfare, and cooperation is difficult to reconcile with many of the traditional roles and scenarios, where the top and bottom play as adversaries. However, there are a few roles possible wherein the person who hits you is not an enemy!

Mentor/Ritualist: The top is a trainer, preparing and coaching the bottom for some ritual ordeal. Or passing on the secrets of mind control, wherein pain becomes ecstasy. Or trying to send the bottom on an astral observation of whatever, or a spirit journey, etc.
Comrade: Who is preparing an agent, or coaching a fellow prisoner, to resist/survive an interrogation. (Of course, the interrogation can follow later, with the top moving into a new role, or new tops coming in for that part.)

Science Fiction: The aliens whose ship crashed think they can recharge the damaged drive crystals, but only by tapping the energy mobilized in what turns out to be this scene.
Some of these may sound hokey, but roleplay always sounds hokey to anyone who is not motivated toward that particular scenario. Find a script that works for you, and suspension of disbelief will come much more easily.

Also, endorphins can lead many bottoms into a profound submissive space. If you enjoy serious D/S or role play, you may find this endorphin-oriented warm-up offers a startlingly good beginning to a more psychological sort of scene.

MAKING YOUR OWN TOYS
Traditional canes are made of rattan, a woody reed from the East Indies. It has a jointed stem that resembles bamboo, but is not hollow. Rattan is very tough and strong, and makes the most durable natural canes I know. Like bamboo, it comes in all sorts of diameters; traditional canes are about 8mm, but thicker and thinner ones are also useful.
Rattan can sometimes be found at craft stores or Oriental basketwork shops. It is used to make wicker furniture, so a repairer of that might have a stock of it as well. Unfortunately, most of the cane-sized rattan that comes into this country has been bent into coils, which warps and sometimes cracks it.

If you must deal with the coiled stuff, it should first be cut to length with a fine-toothed saw. Coping saws and hacksaws work well. A dressmaker's tape is a handy way to measure along the coils. Obviously, you should not include cracked places in your layout.
Less obviously, your canes will be much more durable if the tip includes one of the joints of the stem. The convoluted grain in each joint resists splitting, as opposed to the very straight grain that runs for the foot or so between joints. A lot of the coiled rattan has been peeled and sanded, but the joints are still noticeable if you look and feel carefully. Cut the stem about a stem diameter to one side of the joint; this will become the tip of the cane. (The ends without joints included are fine for handles - the tips are what take the shock and strain.)

You can make the canes any length you like; I prefer 20-30 inches (50-80cm) as they are easier to aim and more convenient in close quarters. Long ones have more power, but can be awkward. The natural variations in your coil will probably give you several choices.
Each tip needs to be rounded off; any kind of edge here will break skin far too easily. Coarse sandpaper works well, especially in a power sander of some kind. Hand sanding will also do, as will a fairly coarse metal file. Whatever you use, try for a smoothly rounded end. Now hand-sand the whole length of each cane with medium paper; try to remove the stray fibers you find sticking up from the wood. They are a nuisance during varnishing.

The cut pieces will have to be soaked and steamed to straighten them without breaking. I soak mind in the bathtub for a day or two, but any water will do. Don't let them dry out. After soaking comes steaming and straightening. You will need some way of keeping the canes straight as they dry; I lay them in a series of grooves I routed into a plank, and then clamp another plank on top of them. You can also try shoving each one down a length of pipe; plastic water pipe won't rust and stain the canes.

When you have your straightening rig set up, boil a big kettle of water. Wrap the canes in a towel or two, lay them in the (drained) tub and pour some boiling water over them. Dose them every minute or so for a few minutes, and then unwrap them; the scalding will make them limp and easy to uncurl. (Dishwashing gloves help keep your fingers from scalding, too.) Quickly, before they can cool, bend them straight and put them in the jig. Put the jig in a dry place with good ventilation for five days (10 if you're metric). :-)

Remove the canes and hang them up for air drying; I use clothespins on cords. After one day of air drying, brush them thoroughly with a coat of spar varnish; Varathane works well. Give each cane at least three coats; let each coat dry enough that you can sand off any lumps. Some newspapers on the floor under them will be a good ideas, since at least one of them will drip no matter how careful you are.

The handle end of each cane can be left as is, or a grip can be added for comfort or appearance. You can dip the handle ends in plastic tool dip - it will take several coats, and you can hang them from the same setup you used in the varnishing. The fumes of this stuff are truly nasty; be sure you have good ventilation. Less toxically, you can wrap the grips with cord or leather lacing, sew a scrap of leather or cloth around them, or cover them with tape. Bicycle handlebar tape makes a fine grip.

You can of course prepare other kinds of wooden rods this way - and avoid all the straightening hassle by picking ones that are straight to begin with. Bamboo is cheap and widely available, and also stiffer than rattan, which makes aiming easier. Bamboo, of course, is hollow and the tip must be made at a joint, just as described for rattan. Bamboo works fine for light to medium blows; heavy blows with it can be dangerous. Bamboo can split without warning, and the splits have edges like razors! Hardwood dowels from the hardware store can have the same problems. Avoid either of these materials for heavy canings.

Many other plants have canelike shoots. Forsythia is a very popular ornamental, and the older branches from the inside of the bush can make quite a reasonable cane. Prepare as you would rattan. They aren't as durable, but the price is right, especially if rattan is hard to buy where you live. Apple trees develop suckers each year, especially upward from the top branches. These grow straight, to about the right length, and are pruned off in great numbers every year. They are quite tough and durable. The buds make rough little bumps along the shoot; they can be sanded off if they seem too harsh.

Some twigs, such as birch or willow, are fine for scenes but far too flexible to be considered or used as canes. Handling them is a whole different topic.

There are also synthetic canes, mostly plastics. Plastics are much denser than wood, so they hit harder and the stroke is more penetrating. They are very easy to clean, which is a good thing because the thinner ones break skin quite easily.


There are shops in most large and medium cities that sell plastic supplies. There can be a confusing variety of materials there: Delrin, Lexan, and fiberglass are three kinds of rod that are tough enough to make good canes. Acrylic is not tough enough; I have broken several. If the clear look appeals to you, get Lexan. Sora, from San Francisco, makes some very nice Lexan canes, if you want to buy ready-made. If you prepare your own, you won't need to varnish them, but be sure to remember to round and smooth the tip!

An experience

I may have, in passing, mentioned I recently experienced giving submission.

It was an incredible experience and I have to say for those Dominants who have not experienced giving submission to someone, you should at least try it for the headspace experience.

I have been dwelling on why I submitted to this person for a period of time and I think the reasons were - I considered him an equal, he was respectful, we were connected in background and interests, and I trusted him implictly with my dark thoughts, wants and needs.

Never has anyone ever brought these feelings to the fore and even I was amazed these feelings had enveloped me.

As many women, not all, were raised and taught men were the superior gender, and so I lived my vanilla life in 'submissive' mode - occasionally raring up but most times keeping the fiery personality enslaved.  I did what I was told/asked most times but when I hit 23 years of age, I had just about enough of being dictated to males.

Of course I am open to taking advice from males but dictate, bully or try to dominate me - oh, not a good idea.

So, I arose from my cocoon and a butterfly emerged, freed.

My 20s, 30s, 40s and I am now venturing into my 50s have been 'take charge' kind of years.  I had a few long-term relationships because males loved having me in their life.  I am special.  Some of you may think that is arrogant, and perhaps it is, but let me tell you I really am special and once you 'taste' me, I'm hard to forget.  I am an amazing partner... yet, I was bored in most of my relationships after a while.  I always sought out strong males but unfortunately they were never strong enough - intellectually, mentally.

After taking charge for so many years, it was quite an eye opener and totally unexpected to meet someone who I connected with on many levels - physically, mentally, creatively, sexually, intellectually, and who I wanted to experience a new life with because I considered him an equal.  However this did not eventuate due to family circumstances.  I am OK with that now because shit happens and we deal with it, and get on with life.  No regrets I say.  Enjoy the time you have with someone, and if it doesnt work out, cherish the memories, and time you had with them.

As a Female Dominant and Mistress, I have a queue of males who wish to serve me but I am very very selective who I allow into my realm. Out of the queue of males, there are 1 or 2 potentials.  I will find them, or they will find me but there is no rush as I am not going anywhere...and meanwhile, I have a submissive and a slave-in-traing, so they have my attention at the moment.

I am not as interested in topping these days. It was fun 'servicing' all these males to obtain experience, and giving them pleasure but I am finding these days it is totally dissatisfying.  I am seeking relationships with depth, with layers upon layers - mental connection.  I am seeking M/s or D/s.  My goal for the future is to one day live a 24/7 FLR M/s relationship with someone compatible.  No pretences, just a pure FemDom loving relationship.

Well this is all I have to say about my recent experience of submitting.  I liked it but I truly know my true nature is about GIVING Dominance.  :)

Mz Neta
~ With Dark Romance in Mind always ~

New slave

My new slave's training is coming along well.  He reminds me of a previous slave I had in focus and attitude not so much looks but that is not important, the submission, the service, the loyalty, the commitment and me, Ms Neta, being the priority is what I seek, and have always sought.

I will introduce him here, soon.

He is on a contract for 3 months only and I am looking forward to enjoying time with him.  We plan to spend some time together up north to visit other kinksters, and enjoy the M/s relationship we are about to ensue.

***

Punishment tally as of yesterday (17/10/14): 6 strokes

Lucky boy.

More CBT fun

    Various methods of crushing (not totally of course!) the balls. Pliers, car battery clamps, a "visible ball crusher" I bought on-line etc.

Various abrasives - sandpaper, nail file, scrubbing pad, electric toothbrush etc.

Candle wax

Clothes pins and binder clips

Use a Wartenberg wheel

Butterfly board and other "play piercing"

Stinging nettles  - use first on the nipples, then the balls, then the shaft of the cock and finally - exquisite agony - the glans.

Crushed chillis in virgin olive oil "painted" on the cock and balls (I read about this online somewhere and it said that it's "initially, excruciating but later blissful" which was true. What it didn't say was that the "excruciating" part, with your cock and balls feeling like they're on fire, lasts an eternity - or it certainly seems like it - before you get to the "blissful" part)

Bengay / Icy Hot (similar effect to the above, but hard to get rid of that distinctive smell)
Electro torture, using a TENS unit.

Various anal "probes", including electrified.

Wear tight jeans without underwear.

Figging – ginger root.  Cut the ginger root to the size of the tooth pick and insert it in the urethra.

Sounds, can be a lot of fun

Attach a row of pegs to his cock with a string running through them all. Attach a small bucket to the string and let it dangle between his legs. Keep slowly dropping small weights into the bucket. Eventually the pegs would start to come off but it will take ages and then they should all come off suddenly.  Painful.

Wrap his cock in a sheet of sandpaper and put rubber bands around it so it remains rolled up. Hold one end of the sandpaper and have him pull his cock out.  It will leave scratch marks all around his cock. Ouch.

Harsh language and hateful comments ahead... be prepared, and amused

I don't usually post conversations between myself and other kinksters for privacy reasons and respectful reasons.  However, this conversation, I really do have to share with the world.

I am on another Kink site.  And I continually receive numerous random emails without the courtesy of an accompanying email.  Its tedious. Majority are rejected.    Today, I received a request so I decided to send an email to the chap to inform him I had rejected his friends request:  This was our conversation.  He was insulting towards me and that’s OK because being insulting makes him feel ‘domly’ *hehe*.  Aah the effect I have on some men who cannot handle an honest, straight-up woman.  We are just too threatening and unfeminine.  Here goes:

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia

written 19 minutes ago:

I'm rejecting your friends request since you did not take the courtesy to send an email. A submissive indeed. Right.

Mz Neta

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

written 14 minutes ago:

Well that remains to be seen, but you know what is crystal clear? You are an atrocious cunt, or better yet, a waste of one.

What a pathetic human being you are, seek help bitch.

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia

written 11 minutes ago:

Haha a sub indeed. you have shown how egotistical and pathetic you are.

Mz Neta

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

written 9 minutes ago:

No, Mz Neta, the only one that has showed her pathetic side is you bitch. With your pathetic passive aggressiveness.

A no thank you would have been fine, but I guess it's just been a little too long with you and your cats hasn't it you pathetic old bitch.

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia

written 5 minutes ago:

Actually I'm a dog person, sub. Couldn't find a dog rep.
Anyway back to you, sub. So your really a dom but want to experience strap on because that's considered subby. Cripes how pathetic.

You wouldn't understand real submission if it bit you on the arse.

Mz Neta

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
new message

written 3 minutes ago:

Aww, where did the tough old battle ax Domme go? What? Too busy eating your feelings?

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
new message

written less than a minute ago:

Fucking pathetic old twat, yeah fat ass, some of us men still have our balls, be more polite next time or I'll slap bitch out of your mouth.

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
new message

written less than a minute ago:

What part of fuck off aren't you getting out of my messages to you, you rusty old cunt.

Seriously, fuck off.

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia
new message

written less than a minute ago:

Oh fuck off you little bitch.

I'm here. And laughing at your crazy arse silliness.

You think you've scared me not likely boy. you are like one of the many pretender subs on here who are only looking to be fucked anally because that is what you believe submission is all about.

You're a fool, and everyone who chats to you will know soon enough.

hehe ooh am I upsetting you...

Mz Neta

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

written 1 minute ago:

And I wouldn't let you touch me if you paid me, seriously, look at your body, you're fucking disgusting.

Fuck off.

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia
new message

written less than a minute ago:

oh pretend sub
the thing is you are drawn to me its pretty obvious with your anger at me hehe.

Mz Neta

Sub4MistressPA 39M
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
new message

written 1 minute ago:

You're not upsetting lard ass, you don't have that kind of power over me, I'm just holding a mirror up to you, and if you can see beyond your fat, you'll realize what an atrocious person you are.

You could have ignored my friend request, you could have said no thanks, either of those and that would have been the end of it, but you didn't do that, did you chubs? Nope, you had to get all passive-aggressive and question what I like and don't like. I'm done with you, I'll let you have the last word, because just like a piece of cheesecake, I'm sure you are not going to pass up the last word.

Enjoy loneliness lard ass.

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia
new message

written less than a minute ago:

oh pretend sub
you are making me laugh heartily.

your conceit, and arrogance is not ever going to get you a 'real' partner.

you should take a look in the mirror, pretend sub, you are beyond hysterical. Many women are going to know what you are like soon enough... I will be your voice, pretend sub.

you enjoy your sad life, and I will enjoy my beautiful life with my beautiful friends, and give my attention to the genuine submissive males who recognise and appreciate a genuine Dominant like myself.

take care little one, go find a mummy who will make all your hurt go away after being scolded by Mz Neta ;) hehe

you, pretend sub, have made my morning.

Regards Mz Neta

MzNeta 50FEM
Tasmania, Australia
new message

written less than a minute ago:

Its time for me to let you go now, pretend sub.

Goodbye

Regards
Mz Neta

Then I blocked him.

I checked on his profile about 2.00pm this afternoon, and oh golly gee, what a surprise, he has deactivated his profile.  He ran like the real wuss he really is.  So much for being a dominant but wanting to explore his submissive side by being fucked anally – because you know, that’s what submission is all about – oh pleassssssssssssssssse spare me the bullshit.  My oh my, the power I had over him, especially sending him into a frenzy of anger and attacking me about me being fat and over-eating.  Yep, I am a large woman with a huge appetite.  OK, that is what his eyes see when he looks at me – selective blindness.

This is what is tiresome for many of us Female Dominants having to deal with lack of courtesy – random friends requests without a courtesy email to say hi, or can we be friends.  And when we have had enough of the hordes of pretend subs and make a stand, they turn like puerile little creatures, and show their true colours.

Perhaps that will be my mission from now on to see how many “pretend” sub males turn into Mr Hyde when I tell them I have rejected their random friends request.  UGH.

And also let me add, the beautiful submissive and switch males who are not ashamed to say they switch, continually get a bad rep because of these pretend subs who turn on Female Dominants because they want to control the relationship and have the Female Dominants on puppet strings.  Well fuck that, I will not tolerate this type of behaviour any more.  Anyone who sends me random friends requests on that site, will now receive an email from me telling them why they are being rejected.  The reactions from them will be most interesting to view.

(92348)

Welcome to Alex Chapmon's Artwork - 2014

Happy Birthday

slave Alicks

What a day!

What a day! In fact what a couple of full-on days! Phew!

I arrived at my workplace yesterday and was immediately greeted by a major issue that occurred over the weekend and the person was unable to make a decision.  I made it for her.  While we were discussed the issue, another person pops their head in to ask if they could speak to me once I finished my meeting.  I called her and she returned to my office to outline her concerns about another major concern revolving around attitudes of staff and clients.  Sighs.  So again I gave advice.

Third thing, my phone rang to inform me we were having an accreditation visit.  Holy shit!

They say bad things happen in 'threes'.  Yep, Monday morning - what a blast.

Yesterday was stressful but I got through it, with the others, to a very positive outcome although we were all exhausted by day's end.  The glass of wine when I arrived home was well received as was the hot bubble bath.

Today.  Well, I had a submission to put forward which is undertaken on a quarterly basis.  Because of my high expectations most times, I was ready, prepared and waiting... unfortunately, I was the only one organised.  So, there I was stalking one of the staff members most of the day to provide me with the relevant information in order to submit this report.  I am pleased to say with focus and fortitude, I completed the submission and this will be sent off tomorrow morning after I have given it a once-over perusal of the documentation.  My glass of wine is really going down well.

I was also contacted by a director of the organisation, and as a contractor, and due to my impressive skills, was asked if I would assist another department with set-up of online systems for the next few weeks due to another accreditation visit.  They just don't seem to want to let me go... my reputation within this organisation is solid it appears.

Sadly my Fridays are no longer mine... well, only for a few weeks... then who knows what my future will hold - workplace wise.

Thank goddess, I have my kink to keep me balanced from the craziness of workplace life.  Sighs.

Talking about kink, really looking forward to the CBT and Impact play gathering this Saturday.  We have 7 males to play with.  Fun times ahead!!  *hehe*

A poem

What a pleasure it is to converse with Mz Neta
who has given me the opportunity to meet Her,
my life couldn’t get any better.

With a quality of a Goddess She displays such Dominance and awe
upon meeting in Her in presence i will probably
just drop and kneel before Her on the floor.

Being Mz Neta's slave my body belongs to her
To do with what She pleases
this is something I would really prefer.

Oh what a joy it would be indeed
If Mz Neta chooses to keep me
and never let me be freed!

i wish Goddess Neta all the Love and best wishes
and with me as a domestic
She will never have to care about the dishes.

Random emails from random people who are incompatible with me

Really?  This message is what I received 2 days ago.  I became friends with a Dominant, and next minute I am inundated with all these admirers.  Now I have no problem with admirers of my profile or photo gallery but where on my profile does it say I am into toilet play... well except, for those who are special to me *hehe* but really, it does not say anywhere that I am seeking a toilet slave or even interested in this type of play, well except for those who are very special to me.  JEEZUS!!

Although I have to say, he was polite... so my response to his enquiry was polite, as I am a polite Woman UNLESS you piss me off!

written 2 days ago by Jlav

Hello there, I completely understand if you're not interested but I was wondering if you'd consider using me as your toilet. I'm somewhat in love with the idea of being treated exactly like a toilet, not just as a "toilet slave".

Either way, thanks for your time and my apologies if it's not something you're interested in but I'm hoping that it is.

Thoughts 12/11/14

My thoughts.

Why people are attracted to me?  I was having a discussion with a chap today and he was saying how he was attracted to black women.  Of course my hackles rose but then he followed it through by saying Black Women are his preference NOT his fetish.

Bless him.

He told me a childhood story of why he finds Black and Mixed race women so attractive to him.  It was a heartwarming story, which made me smile.

As a Mixed race Woman, I have had to endure all sorts of racism and prejudice throughout my life but that never held me down.  Of course, I believe it did help that I am an attractive Woman so that coupled with being Mixed race has probably made my life pretty smooth with only a few ups and downs along the way.

Now as a Black Female Dominant... I have attracted and continue to attract many people - females and males - into my realm who want to to revel in m presence by being dominated, and even wanting to dominate me.  Some I am flattered by, and some I am not.  The ones I am not flattered by are those who see me as a fetish.  A Black Dominant Woman who can serve their needs.  Those types of people do not hold my attention for long.  Those who are drawn to me because I am Dominant Woman who wish to serve me, well they tend to hold my attention for longer until they say or do something idiotic.

Anyway these are a few thoughts I just had to write down... I will continue with my thoughts as I continue to write on this blog - some thoughts will be lengthy and others will be succinct depending upon my mood at the time.

Tonight, I am reflective about a few things that have occurred but I am not really in the mood to elaborate at this time.

Goodnight.

(91754)

Sadistic but indulgent

This test was undertaken in 2010.  I wonder how I would score in 2014...

You Scored as Sadistic but indulgent You like to see Your slave in pain. And to reach this goal, You like to use many different tools like whips, clamps, crops, strap-ons or different kinds of bondages. You will make Your slave suffer, as long as it's consensual. Sadistic but indulgent 92% The Trainer 85% Fussy and demanding 81% Teasing and "bitchy" 80% Kinky and sex driven 78% Psychologist 76% Lifestyler 68% Extremely sadistic, twisted and pitiless 67% Possessive and controlling 64% The Player 63% Humiliatrix 59% Cold and distant 55% Female supremacist 44% Loving, caring and with submissive tendencies 43%