Medical Concerns
It's very important to share information, preferably at the first meet, about any conditions or injuries you have, even if they are old injuries. The reason for this is because when the Dominant is applying force to the body, or even placing the sub in a bound, stationary position, she must be mindful of the areas of the body which is prone to recurring pain. An old injury can easily flare up, or become worse, if the Dominant is not careful. A neck injury can easily incur whiplash when a sub throws his head back in response to force. Extra protection and care can minimize damage. Don't break the toy, whatever you do!
Prescription medicines, etc, should be placed close to the sub or Dominant during a scene, along with water or sports drinks, just in case these are needed. Sports drinks are very good for replacing the energy expended through play.
If the Dominant is a responsible one, she will have some knowledge of the human anatomy - where to place blows, and when and how to use varying degrees of force, and which areas to avoid. Subs should be familiar with this, also. A First Aid certificate should definitely be in a Dominant's repertoire of tricks.
Subs need to inform the Mistress if they are wearing contact lenses. Any force to the face should be avoided in this instance. The face is something I avoid applying force to anyway, during play.
It goes without saying, but I will still mention this - information exchanged about sexual history, and a clean bill of health is important if sexual activity is going to occur. Not only from the sub, but also the Dominant. It honestly amazes me that people will go out and have one-night stands with some random picked up from the local pub, sometimes without protection, and yet we expend more effort on researching a car's mileage at an auto sale.
Binding Submissives to Objects of Furniture
How sexy is this, binding your sub to the bed with his legs and arms spread wide apart, leaving his body and genitals free to be played with, tortured, or teased - yay! BUT! Consider the repercussions if you faint, have a heart attack or epileptic fit, or - DIE! - what happens to your sub, then?
If you were a smart domme, you would've left a phone within easy reach of his grasp so he can at least dial 111. Even if he's gagged, the open line of communication between him and the operator should inspire a response from the emergency services. Also, you should have a key to the restraints on your person, around a neck chain or key ring, and he should have a copy on him, also.
Shears, scissors, or some other sharp instrument should always be close at hand, in case you need to free the sub quickly. You need a torch with batteries, also, in case the power fails.
Binding a submissive to an article of furniture should only be done after trust is established, and after at least a couple of play sessions. Ensure the sub always has an escape route, mmkay?
Bound ...and gagged...and cuffed...and whipped
It's a deep fantasy of many to have all of this done at once. These are the sexy images bombarding us in the media and on the internet, which supposedly represent the pinnacle of male and female submission. This is fine under controlled conditions, and if it's the third or fourth session. But for the first session - I don't recommend this, especially if either the Dominant, or sub, are new to bdsm.
If it's the first session with a boy new to submission, I recommend using wrist and perhaps knee and ankle restraints, and leaving the sub to become accustomed to the sensation of being bound. Stay with the sub, perhaps lying or standing next to him (if he's kneeling), for a period of say 10-15 minutes. Talk to him, reassure him, rub his back or torture him with delicious whispers about what you are going to do next.
Perhaps apply nipple clamps next, or perhaps spank the sub, but don't do both at once. Not until later, when he's accustomed to all these new, exciting sensations. Gags should be left till another time. Always announce what you are going to do next, so the sub isn't freaked out when you arbitrarily introduce a new sensation, or tool, or toy. Remember the negotiation rule? Anything you do to him during a session should always be discussed, first.
Sensation play should be introduced gradually, over a spread of several sessions. Before the Dominant applies tools, toys, or force, she should be very clear and vocalise exactly what she is going to do next. Wait 10 seconds to gauge the reaction of the submissive, then proceed. Use the lighter end of the pain scale if it's the first time, the least amount of blows, and always watch the submissive's reaction. If the submissive displays any ultra-heightened fear or pain reactions, remind him of his safeword, and reassure him that there will be no repercussions or shame if he uses it. If play stops, it can always be revisited another time.
It's a huge temptation for a Dominant to want to do everything to the sub in the first session, and it's a massive tempation for the sub to take everything and anything the Dominant wants in that first session. But consider this - you are both just getting to know one another, just learning about each other. Save the truly freaky stuff for later, always give the sub an opportunity to stop play, to escape his bindings, to say his safeword. You will only gain his trust and respect if you respect him.
These are just general guidelines, and what I've found works for me. Not every Dominant will follow these guidelines robotically - everyone has their own ways of doing things. Just so long as your play is safe, sane and consensual and both the Top and bottom understand the risks associated with play, and have planned accordingly.
A touch of skin soft and slippery,
