Credited and a Thank You to BDSM Tourguide
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In dealing with the online BDSM community, a dominant will typically run across many submissives in chat, forums or mailing lists. Although each submissive has their own personality and quirks and flaws and merits, each will usually fit into one of the following seven categories of internet submissive behavior.
Please note that these are only the most common types of internet submissives; others do exist, but to much lesser degrees.
- The 'little boy' submissive
- The 'tame me' submissive
- The 'SAM'
- The 'brat"
- The 'my Mistress is God'
- The 'I am Slave, Hear Me Roar” submissive
- The “True” or “I’m a Natural” submissive
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-->Type One: The “Little Boy” Submissive – Ever-blushing and ever-giggly, the “little boy” type of submissive is the consummate child actor. He will usually use every cute little boyish remark and feigned innocence in his arsenal to make sure everyone finds him to be the sweetest, compassionate, kind caring sub in the whole community. These little boys typically ooze sweetness and often make dominants and other submissives in the community wonder what they’re really up to. Little boy types usually do not get along with other little boy types at all, as they typically crave attention. Any other little boy trying to muscle in on another little girl’s turf is an open threat to the incumbent little girl’s monopoly on attention-getting. For this same reason, little boy submissives do not usually do well in polyamorous relationships, preferring to be the sole object of their partner’s attention. A positive aspect of little boy types is that they are usually unwaveringly devoted to their partners and once they find a partner, they are unlikely to leave that person. From a purely psychological perspective, one has to wonder if the little boy type who uses his wiles and charms, craves attention to cover up self-esteem issues.
-->Type Two: The “Tame Me” Submissive – The “tame me” type of submissive is overly rebellious, overly strong-willed and overly confrontational with dominant types. They want to find, in their own words, a strong dominant to break their spirit and make them be the submissives these guys just KNOW they can be. This type of submissive doesn’t seem to realize that most dominants enjoy a spirited submissives, but don’t actually want to attempt to train a wild pony only to have it turn into a old gray mare once they saddle-breaking phase is completed. A submissive that shows qualities of rebellion, will and spirit are often looked upon as assholes by dominants, and the tame me type of submissive tends to take these traits to the next level. Ordinarily, once a tame me type is actually tamed, he becomes bored with his relationship and begins looking anew for better challenges. These submissives do not often form lasting relationships within a BDSM community. A positive thing about the tame me type of submissive is that they are really fun for the first couple of months, but after they have been tamed, they tend to settle into predictable ruts until they are ready to leave the relationship, then they will begin to act out again in hopes that someone, who is not their current partner, will attempt to tame them once again.. Psychologically speaking, one wonders is a tame me type is merely playing hard to get in order to find a partner that will put up with them and not become overly baffled when the submissive ceases to be a challenge and then leaves for another person that will do it all over again.
-->Type Three: The “SAM” Submissive – A “SAM” type submissive, also known as a Smart-Assed Masochist, is just that, a smart-talking submissive with a quick tongue. These submissives are usually only SAMs, or Sammie, to their partners or people they know very well. Usually, their Sammie behavior isn’t actually a cry for attention; it’s just their way of being playful. In fact, most SAMs when actually threatened with punishment will back off, saying that they were only playing and that they didn’t mean anything by it. Occasionally, this behavior can be incredibly frustrating to their partners who, by the time the SAM has agitated their partner into frenzy, are looking to string the SAM submissive up by their toes and see how many fresh red marks can be created. Interestingly enough, most SAM submissives are not always masochists. They actually do not want to be punished for their actions as, to them; they were just playing around to begin with. The positive thing about a SAM sub is that they are usually great fun and very playful partners. Occasionally, they are playful to an infuriating level and will occasionally push their partners until their partners are ready to torture them just to relieve the stress. Psychologically speaking, a SAM is probably not actually looking for punishment or attention, but just wants to show their affection by acting the way they do. The SAM is usually subdued by a couple of harsh words, because once they realize they have stopped being fun, they do not enjoy the feeling associated with causing their partner actual distress.
-->Type Four: The “Brat” – The “brat” is different from the tame me type and the SAM type in the fact that they are overly-aggressive, smart-mouthed and frequently rude, they have no intentions of submitting to anyone’s authority or discipline, except that of their partner. This fact, however, does not stop the brat from continuously harassing every dominant and most submissives with which he comes into contact. Oddly enough, to their partners, brats are, almost unanimously, not bratty. The brat knows full well that their partner can and will punish them, and probably would if their partner caught them acting the way they do in a community. Brats are usually very good submissives once they find a partner, but their confidence in knowing full well that they have a partner and no one else can lay a finger on them typically causes their behavior. Anyone that’s ever fallen victim to the behavior of the brat can usually stop the brat’s behavior toward them with a well-worded email to the brat’s partner, along with any specific bratty remarks copied and pasted into the text of the mail. The good thing about brats is that they are, almost unanimously, actually very good submissive. They usually behave very well to their partners and are usually very easy to get along with in relationships. Psychologically speaking the brat probably acts the way he does, because of the sense of security afforded to him by the knowledge that he has a partner and no one else is allowed to touch him. The brat, once reported to their partners for their behavior, tend to settle down and treat the person that has reported them quite respectfully. The brat will normally only push the people he knows he can push.
-->Type Five: The “My Master/Mistress is God” Submissive - Also known as they “I have a an owner and you don’t! Nyah nyah nyah ” type of submissive. These submissives are of the opinion that their Mistress can do absolutely no wrong and that their Owner’s word is as good as law. They’re convinced that their Mistress knows everything there is to know about everything. The “My Mistress is God” type of submissive frequently spends inordinate amounts of time talking about their Mistress, what their Mistress have done to them, or for them, or with them in the past, or any other tidbit of assumed wisdom their Mistress have ever passed along to them. Suffice it to say that conversations with these types of submissives can get old very fast, and most people would almost rather eat broken glass than converse at length with this type of submissive after he has related his favorite “My Mistress did this” story for the third or eighth or hundredth time. The good thing about the “My Mistress is God” submissive is that they are very, very devoted. These submissives are usually crazy about their Owners and hang on her every word. Mostly, it seems, this type of submissive is usually very new and inexperienced, and frequently their Owners are, too. Psychologically speaking, one wonders if these submissives are under the effects of psychoactive drugs or mind control, because most sane people are not this devoted to their partners. This type of submissive is frequently very new and very inexperienced, and therefore has nothing much of value of his own to add to a BDSM-related conversation. His Mistress, too, might be inexperienced, but as long as She treats him well and what She says seems to make sense, he will hang on her every word, believing that she knows more than anyone else possibly could. People in disagreements with this type of submissive will often find that, unless they have at least five documented, proven bibliographical sources to back up a claim or opinion that differs from this submissive’s Mistress’s claim or opinion, then this submissive will never believe a word of it, choosing to believe instead that anything his Owner says is the absolute truth.
-->Type Six: The “I am Slave, Hear Me Roar!” Submissive – These are absolute, prodigious, epitome of any submissive type. Don’t call the “I am Slave” type a submissive, though, they don’t like that very much. In these slaves’ opinions, there is no other submissive group that can possibly equal their level of commitment, sacrifice, talent, experience or will to submit. To this slave archetype, submissives merely play at being slaves, and anyone not in a 24/7 TPE-type relationship cannot possibly understand what it really takes to be a slave. Somewhere along the way, the slaves falling into this category forgot that the traditional, BDSM-defined slave is supposed to be demure, servile and meant to be seen and not heard. The good thing about the “I am Slave” type is that they are often very committed, very talented, willing to sacrifice anything for their master and willing to submit to any kind of torture, torment, punishment or practice their masters desire. These slaves rarely safe word out of any situation, and frequently don’t even have safe words. Psychologically speaking, the level of ego required to drive a self-proclaimed slave to this level of verbosity and fervor seems directly contrary to the actual personality required of accepted, established slaves.
-->Type Seven: The “True” or “I’m a Natural” Submissive – The “true” submissive is often the culmination of the desires of every dominant figure around this person. The “true” submissive is often shy, under spoken, docile, servile and absolutely willing to do anything asked of him. The true submissive is usually aware first of the wants, needs and expectations of the dominant figures around him and not concerned as much with his own wants, needs and expectations. The true submissive is frequently inexperienced, untaught and looking to be pleasing by being perceived as the ‘expected’ norm that a submissive should be. The true submissive will serve anyone and allow herself to be disciplined by anyone claiming to be dominant. The true submissive will usually be found off to the side and out of the way of everyone, rather than openly interacting with people. The good thing about the “true” submissive is that they can be educated and trained out of these types of behavior. Through training and education, these submissives often find that they are allowed to say no to people. They find out that they can get involved in conversations and don’t have to be wallflowers in social situations. They also find out that they are allowed to want, need and expect things as any other person would. All they need is some encouragement. Psychologically speaking, there’s nothing at all wrong with the “true” type submissive, other than they need some guidance and that they probably got some bad advice from an online dominant or an online submissive. With good advice and guidance, these submissives can easily turn out to be fine submissives, or they can turn into one of the other six types mentioned here.
As mentioned before, these are only examples of general types of submissives one will run into online. There are other types as well, but none as predominant as to mention here.
There are also, of course, the “normal” submissives that enjoy carrying on conversations, are very openly opinionated and very capable of handling themselves in social situations. It is to these kinds
