My submissive J

Well it is almost NYE.  Incredible really that 2015 is just around the corner.

I am sitting in bed relaxing after an interesting night.

Today, I have been browsing the usual Kink sites I am on and whilst doing this I received a text from my potential submissive.  This submissive is driven, motivated and committed.  Unfortunately for us both, he lives up north so connecting will be irregular.  He has been around me for one month now.  We met up north to ensure our compatibility.  We were.

He is just lovely.  Intelligent, charming, articulate, gentle, and strong.

The reason for writing this is because submissive J continues to strive well in his commitment to me by sending his daily texts even when he is travelling around the country.  Even when he works long hours, his relatives are unwell, through flooding and drought,and unwellness, he continues to stick to his commitment to me.  I have only come across three other males who were able to maintain this kind of contact in the past 5 years.

slave K, sub B, slave A and now, submissive J.

Its heartening to know there really are slaves and submissives out there who dedicated themselves to me, even though at times they teetered about whether to continue in their service to me.

Thank you to submissive J for remaining focussed on me amidst the other commitments in your life.  Another breath of fresh air... for a change.

Being submissive doesn't mean being someone's doormat.  It doesn't mean you are weak.  It means YOU are strong enough to know your desires, strong enough to let go of the control.  Being submissive isn't easy, and it isn't for the weak!

Expectations II

Good evening
Well its almost the end of 2014.

I just wanted to convey some thoughts about my expectations in a D/s dynamic.

It appears the majority of males are only interestED in serving Dominant Women if they can also fuck them.

If there is no fucking, then there is no interest in service or a 'relationship'.  And that is OK, people.  To each their own.

My expectations for those who do wish to connect with me through a D/s dynamic are:

• Show me a commitment in your service to me by undertaking service tasks, and daily communications
• Be unattached as I don't want the wife or girlfriend coming after me or interfering with the dynamic
• I have no problem with sex on my terms - for discussion in private.
• Attending public Kink events 
• Accepting pain for my pleasure.

All these expectations would be discussed in length as part of the negotiation and consent process. However, I had to list my expectations for 'relationships' prior to anything forming as many males get too caught up in how pretty, beautiful, sexy I am - they become too fixated on the pretty pics - and not my words.  Visual creatures you males are.

That said, I am visual, myself.

What I don't want in a submissive/switch partner -

• Overweight (beer gut or just a fat gut)
• Beards
• Small cocks (less than 6 inches)

• Single-minded sexually
• Fear of pain
• Arrogance

I will repost this in 2015 blog as well just so people know my expectations!

Merry Christmas

Good evening All

Its 24 December 2014 - Christmas Eve.

I am just stopping by briefly to wish each and everyone of my visitors to the blog a very Merry Christmas.  May the Festive Season be kind to you.  Stay safe, have fun, love those who are important to you, and keep on kinking...whenever you can!

2015 is just around the corner!  Are you ready?

FemDom is a paradox...

Femdom is a paradox: Because it should be about Women dominating men. Yet the reality is, that many FemDom men, 'top from the bottom'. Where, they demand and tell Women howto  act out their sexual fantasies.  

True Dominant Women do not like this and for this reason reject FemDom completely. This is why there are far more men within Femdom than Women. So I am advocating true FemDom where men do not make any demands on Women and their role is only to serve and do only what the Women want.

(written by William Bond)

***

I was perusing some articles on google and came across blogs by William Bond.  Wonderful perspectives he has.  Thank you.

Its quite interesting because I have experienced many males, stating they are submissive, who have approached me demanding or telling me how I should act out their fantasies mainly porn-related.  This is because they do not really understand FemDom except for what they see on FemDom porn.  Damn the porn industry!!

My response to those males usually is to inform them I am not a porn FemDom, I am a lifestyle Female Dominant and this is what is my expectation of them during their service to me - short term or long term interactions.  Needless to say, many run like scared little bitches.  If sex isn't involved, or very little sexual play, they are not interested.  Their idea of service is giving me oral sex or pummelling (fucking me hard) after they are removed from bondage.  

I am looking for genuine submissive/switch males who understand FemDom or who are open to learning about how to serve a Dominant Woman - my way.  

As usual, I am amused that once the male 'sub' orgasms, he no longer adheres to the rules previously negotiated.  I attract many "Do Me" submissives but I recognise them very quickly these days and remove them from realm doubly quickly.

Just having  my say...

My Vision for 2015

2014 has been an incredibly chaotic year for me. 

First I was nominated to run the local Kink group.  I did it for 7 months.  I had good and bad experiences.

I had numerous BDSM experiences with my regular subs/slaves as well as casual play at the play parties with various kinksters.  It was an enjoyable time but tiring too.

I arranged FemDom Kink events, and trained new FemDoms.

Emotionally, this year was tough too.

It is the twelfth month of 2014, and let me say people I am over it.  I want 2015 to be a different year, a more laid back year – if that is possible.

I am not interested in seeking 24/7 D/s dynamics at this time.  I am looking to play casually with sub/slave/switch males mainly for variety and purely fun.

I have been very serious about my Kink life and have decided to lighten up a little and just immerse myself completely in getting my kink needs and wants met on my terms.

Pleasingly, I have males available to me to help me fulfil my BDSM fun in the coming year.

Just a reminder - I seek your pain for my pleasure!

Look out 2015, Ms Neta is here to play… and to play REAL HARD!

(101966)

19/12/14 - A nice evening with switch R

Last night, I met up with a potential submissive on a casual basis.  He travels around the world and we will catch up whenever he visits Tasmania.  A very respectful, quiet male switch who enjoys being controlled.

We met at some beautiful accommodation, and had a cocktail before play ensued to ensure we were compatible.

He is tall, blonde, blue-eyed, handsome and from the Netherlands.

After we chatted about various subjects, I decided he was most suitable to give me a foot massage.

We arrived in the room, and while I made a phone call I had him remove his clothing while I watched and talked to someone.  I had him kneel for me with his hands behind his head.  I walk towards and inspected his body.  Very nice.

I then moved away from him, sat down in a comfortable chair and requested he close his eyes while I talked about a few kinky topics.  He seemed mesmerised by my dulcet tones and very relaxed.  It was a comfortable space.

Prior to him being directed to move to the bed, I tied a lace around his cock and balls.  He was then directed to the bed and his wrists and ankles were cuffed, still blindfolded.  I proceeded sensation play with using my nails all over his skin.  All the while controlling him with my dulcet tones.  I used a hairbrush to tease his cock and balls, and his body responded well to the sensations.

The sensation play went for a little longer until it was time for my foot massage.  His wrist cuffs were untied
but remain on, his ankles remained bound as did his cock and balls.


The moisturising cream was applied to my left foot first.  He warmed it with hands before application.  Exquisite.  Aah the pleasure of an experienced foot masseur.  Next my right foot was given the attention it deserves.  I lay back and revelled in the deliciousness of massage.

The night ended very well, and I look forward to our next encounter in a couple of months.  Thank you, switch R for a wonderful evening and for my gifts too!

Foot Massage - 19/12/14

Having my feet massaged by a lovely switch male last night.  

He knew how to massage correctly as well.  All the tension in my feet and legs that had accumulated over the past few weeks were drained away with his experienced hands.

Today my feet and legs feel fabulously stress-free and supple.  And soft and smooth from the lovely moisturising and manipulating of my chocolate coloured skin.  

submissive/slave/switch males giving foot massages are so appreciated.  Ladies, let me say that  receiving massages are the ultimate in foot sensual pleasure.  Sensational!!

A Poem written by submissive J

A vision of strength, yet warmth
I weakened at the knees and felt my heart race
Her radiant smile, Her beautiful raven hair

A deep respect building from within
A need to serve Her
I am a man of strength, conviction and intellect
But I give my being willingly to You, Ms Neta

Your beauty, Your strength, Your passion
My heart and body is Yours
I am submissive by choice
And not by will
Through You I learn strength through serving

So take my hand my Ms Neta and lead me
Wherever you want to take me
For I am Yours
In You I trust

Initiative...finally!

Hello Ms N, hope your day is going well. I'm on a break and have been thinking over some of the things I read in your blog, and whilst you haven't set the task per se, I have taken it upon myself to write you a poem to show my devotion and eagerness to please you. I hope it is worthy. 

To serve, to please, to satisfy your desires,
That is my purpose.

To worship, to glorify, to hold you above all others,
That is my true desire.

To submit, completely, to be under your power, to be treated as you wish,
That is what I offer you.

Take me, teach me, punish me, make me cry and shake.
make me honour you and your dominance.

I give myself to you.

Completely.

I am yours, if you will have me. 

Dominance and submission (D/s) - A Power Exchange Relationship

If anyone were to ask what 'Dominance and submission' is, they'd receive almost as many answers as people who practice it.

Simply stated, most would agree that D/s consists of a consensual relationship that is based around a power exchange between two people. One person is the controlling one, known as the Dominant; the other person is the controlled one, and is known as the submissive (note that 'Dominant' is usually capitalised and that 'submissive' is not). The submissive gives a certain amount of 'power' to the Dominant over their lives. This can be as simple as the Dominant telling them what to wear each day, or can be as complex as them having to ask the Dominant for permission to even leave the room. The important thing to note here is that we are talking about consensual relationships. The rights of the submissive are not taken from them, they are given freely during a period of negotiation.

What does BDSM mean?

BDSM is a word composed from the following abbreviations: B&D (Bondage & Discipline), D&S (Dominance & submission) and S&M (Sadism & Masochism). It means, that it can cover a play, where heavy pain is inflict or tight bonds are applied or where one person drive another. There is one sign common for all three: there is at least one person, who lead the scene (called top), and at least one person, who is controlled (called bottom).

Bondage & Discipline - bondage, humiliation and corporal punishment are used to control the behaviour of the bottom. The top forces the bottom to achieve a certain goal through given rules. If these are broken, then punishment takes a place. It is very similar to a child treatment used in past centuries, but applied on adults of course. Very often role playing such as parents/children, teacher/student is a part of it.

Dominance & submission - the top dominates the bottom. The top demands that the bottom wants to obey. It is similar to B&D, but the control is mostly in an emotional field. Let me give you an example to make it more clear: The top gives a command to the sub to keep the house clean. In B&D the top will check, if the house is really clean. If not, her crop will have work to do ... In D&S, the top will not care if the room is tidied up, but if the bottom has spent enough effort to fulfil the request.

Sadism & Masochism - pain is involved. The masochist likes to receive pain, the sadist likes to inflict pain.

BDSM can be a lifestyle, it can be a favourite game regularly played with a partner, or it can be something what would never be understood by some. Most BDSMers say, that erotic power exchange is the most sensual thing you can experience.  Some would agree, others would disagree. 

Just sharing...

Good evening people.

Its Hump Day.  Mid-week.  This Mistress has had a busy week and very much looking forward to the end of the week very much.  

I am seeking a new submissive and currently chatting to a couple...however, my screening process will be a lot more intensive than it has been in the recent past to ensure these boys are truly compatible with me.  Married males will no longer be accepted.  There is no 'real' commitment from them, and really, let's be honest, they are controlling the relationship rather than the Dominant.  

Wish me luck, people.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Ms Neta

~ With Dark Romance in mind, always ~

Basics of Service

 The basic principle of submissive service in a public setting can be summed up in one word: Attentiveness.

Your behavior should reflect your attentiveness to the dominant's needs and desires at all times. Your role is to serve those needs and desires. Is your dominant about to light up a cigarette? Is your dominant's coffee cup empty or has the coffee grown cold? Does he or she need a chair to sit on? Does your dominant have special needs (physical challenges, dietary restrictions)?

It is your job to ensure that the dominant's comforts are served by making any and all appropriate arrangements to make the dominant's life easy. Similarly, it is your joyful task to demonstrate, through your attitude and demeanor, that the dominant's needs come first. Your ability to devotedly serve your dominant is a standard by which others will judge you AND your dominant.

Not only will your attentiveness please your dominant but it will impress those you meet both with your dominant's power and your submissiveness. In other words, you will be a submissive who a dominant is proud to own and one who others will believe is worth ownership.

Some submissives mistake their ability to take a heavy beating as the proof of their devotion. Certainly, it can be a highly erotic type of service to endure heavy pain for your dominant, but what about all those moments when your dominant isn't "doing" you? Are you as good a slave to her (or him) during the quiet moments as you are when your dominant is giving you what you crave?

The following guidelines will help you to convey to your dominant and others that your wish to serve is sincere.

Rules of Public SM Etiquette

1. Call a dominant by the title of her or his choice (e.g., Mistress, Ma'am, Master, Sir, etc.) If you don't know what his or her preference is, ASK.
2. Don't lunge at a dominant, stand too close to him or her, or thrust your hand out in greeting. Wait politely until the dominant greets you or initiates a handshake.
3. You don't need to act like a mouse but it is respectful to periodically lower your eyes in deference to the dominant.
4. The only person who has the right to give you orders is someone to whom you have consensually surrendered control. If such a person gives an order, an appropriate response would be, "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Ma'am."
5. When an order is given, do your best to comply immediately.
6. If the order pushes a limit, either use your safe word (if you have one), or tell the dominant that you are having a problem and need to talk to him or her.
7. If a dominant wanna-be tries to order you around, an appropriate response would be, "I have not consented to this."
8. Anyone who tries to pressures you into service or tells you it is expected of all submissives should be avoided.
9. Basic rule of thumb: if someone is rude to you, you are under no obligation to be polite to them, even if he or she is a dominant. Clearly he or she is not a good one.
10. Open doors for the dominant and wait until she (or he) passes through before following.
11. Have a lighter or matches handy so you can light a dominant's cigarette or cigar.
12. If the dominant does smoke, discreetly empty the ashtray every so often.
13. Offer to fetch a drink for the dominant.
14. Keep an eye on the dominant's beverage glass and offer to get a refill whenever it is empty.
15. Offer to carry the dominant's coat, equipment bag, or other cumbersome object.
16. When standing beside your dominant, make sure to stand just behind his or her elbow, so that the dominant is slightly in front of you. (Note: some dominants may require that you kneel in attendance.)
17. Do not assume you may take a chair beside your dominant unless she or he has already discussed this with you. Wait until your dominant tells you where to sit. If the dominant gives you no instruction, politely ask where she or he would like you to be.
18. Avoid starting requests with phrases such as "I want" or "I need." Instead, ask for the privilege by starting with: "May I please" or "Mistress/Master, may I have permission to...".
19. If you are in a club or at a party, never bolt away from your dominant's side or give the impression that you would rather be anyplace else but next to your dominant. If something exciting is going on which you are dying to watch, or if you see people you know, ask permission to go.
20. No matter how attractive another dominant may be, when you are in the company of your dominant, control yourself and do not flirt or otherwise express untoward interest in someone else. Even if you are not yet collared or formally owned, if you wish to become owned, you will significantly reduce your chances by acting shallow.
21. Always remember to say "thank you" for every privilege your dominant grants you. For example, if you've received permission to do something, do not charge off like an animal just released from a cage. It gives others the impression that you couldn't wait to leave your dominant's side.
22. Do not argue in public with your dominant. If you are genuinely upset about something which cannot wait until you get home, ask your dominant for permission to discuss it privately and out of earshot of the crowd,

The Submissive:

~ written by Sir Magic ~

A submissive is one who hears the calling to submit, to surrender their control to another and not only obey, but serve. A sub lives to give of themselves to another; to see the needs of their Dominant come first. In doing this, the submissive fulfills a deep, aching, silent void within them.

Do not think just because someone is a submissive they are weak. To the contrary, some of the strongest individuals I know are sub's and slaves. Within BDSM there is a saying, "I'm submissive, not stupid ". What this ultimately means in my eyes is with "if you look down upon a submissive for being so, you have totally missed the whole point... and you're an asshole.

The "sub" differs from the slave in key area's. Technically, as much as I dislike it, you can "be" submissive and it is something you can "do". A submissive has a laundry list of things they will NOT do and conditions they will only serve under.

With the proliferation of on-line BDSM chat rooms and cyber "wannabes" the line between sub and slave has been seriously blurred. It is not uncommon now for the term "sub" or "slave" to be used interchangeably when in essence they ARE different things.

From my perspective, as a long time, real life practitioner, if you are Married or cyber, you can be a sub. However, until you are at the feet of your Dom (or Dominant) with their collar around your neck, you can't be a slave in the true sense of the term. If you are married and your Dominant is someone other than your spouse, I don't see how you can truly be a slave. The old saying applies here, "you can't serve two Masters (Mistresses) ".

Worthy To Be Owned - Tips for submissives/slaves

~ written by Norisch1 ~

There are many things that make a submissive desirable in this realm. To me however there are some things that take precedence over others, obedience, manners, etiquette, and attentiveness are top on my priority list. Nothing frustrates me more than to see a Dominant with a pretty little show piece near by talking to his or her friends while an empty drink glass sits waiting to be refilled, or watching a Dominant have to run around and search for a submissive/slave because he or she has wandered off. No matter what gender, race, age, ethnicity, education, or appearance, if a submissive/slave does not have the basics of protocol and behavior down pat then nothing else matters.

Most submissives/slaves learn basic manners and etiquette from their mother, although it appears that not all mothers were as particular as my mother was on this issue. My mother used to say "Manners are cheap it’s a shame more people don’t have them" and "You don’t have to be well educated to know what good manners are." My mother, God rest her soul, used to pound manners and proper etiquette into myself and my sisters every chance she had, she believed that manners not money that made the difference between "white trash" and a millionaire. In her way of thinking you could be wearing a $3,000.00 custom made Italian suit and be "white trash" if you had bad manners. Why am I explaining the diligence of my mother in an article about BDSM? Simple the way a submissive behaves directly corresponds to the value of the individual in my honest opinion. Not only does it corresponds to their value but it also directly reflects on the Dominant as well. In my opinion a rude or ill-mannered submissive/slave is a definite sign of a poor Dominant. Like wise a well-mannered, obedient submissive/slave is a sign of a loving, attentive Dominant.

I have written down a few tips that I think are a good start to understanding good manners, and proper etiquette.

• Upon first meeting a new individual ask what title they would prefer to be addressed by (Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma’am, Goddess, etc.), do not assume that you have the right to address someone in a familiar manner or to use that individual’s title until you have earned that right.
• Do not rush up to someone and initiate contact, politely stand and wait to be acknowledged.
• Do not run about, dashing from here to there, unless you have been instructed to do so. Walk slowly and with precision. Stand straight with your shoulders back and your head straight, walk with pride and dignity, there is no excuse for poor posture.
• Do not be mousy, discreetly lowering your eyes is acceptable but do not appear timid or frightened.
• Do not hang on or crowd a Dominant, there is such a thing as smothering someone even in this lifestyle.
• Walk or stand slightly behind and to the side of the Dominant, if you are unsure of which side, ask.
• Do not wander off, if you need to excuse yourself, ask permission to leave and then return as quickly as possible, do not assume that you have permission to go somewhere other than the original request or that you have blanket permission to wander about.
• Be attentive, be ready when your Dominant needs you.
• Be discreet, when your Dominant is in the middle of a conversation and you wish to ask a question do not interrupt, simply stand waiting until you are acknowledged and then proceed. If it is important simply place your hand on the Dominant’s arm or shoulder and whisper in his or her ear. If it is an emergency, it is justified to interrupt, but remember to apologize for doing so.
• If there is someone you wish to talk to, ask permission from your Dominant first. If the individual is a Dominant you are then expected to ask his or her permission to speak with them. If the individual is an owned submissive/slave you are expected to ask their Dominant permission before you speak with them. If the individual is not owned, simply ask them if you may speak.
• Keep an eye on your Dominant’s glass, make sure that it does not go empty or if it does that it does not stay that way long.
• If your Dominant smokes, keep a lighter or matches available so that you may light his or her cigarette when need be, also make sure to supply him or her with an ashtray and discreetly empty it on occasion.
• When asked a question the correct response would be "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Ma’am", or "No, Sir" or "No, Ma’am". Even with another submissive/slave you should show respect. If the individual is a close friend or you are on familiar terms a less formal way of answering may be acceptable, but by no means say "Yup" or "Nah".
• Do not pick at your clothes or fidget, it can be very distracting.
• Do not use profanity, there are far to many eloquent words out there that will confuse the dickens out of the well deserving idiot.
• Keep your voice low, shouting across a room is unacceptable, unless it is an emergency.
• Open the door for the Dominant, male or female, and then politely wait until he or she is through to proceed.
• When given permission to leave the Dominant’s side do not bolt off, it gives the impression you can’t wait to get away from him or her.
• Never stare at another individual.
• Offer to carry your Dominant’s coat or bags, or any cumbersome items.
• Keep an eye on your Dominant at all times, even if you are not by his or her side it is wise to glance over frequently to see if your services are needed.
• No not apologize for your Dominant’s behavior unless given instructions to do so.
• Do not talk about your Dominant with anyone else unless you have been given permission.
• If someone is rude to you, you are under no obligation to be polite to them, also tell your Dominant about the behavior, he or she may wish to educate the individual on the proper manner in which you should be addressed.
• If someone that you are not associated with attempts to order you to do something, politely state that you belong to another, or that you did not consent to serving them.
• If you are given instructions and there is a question, ask.
• If you have been given an order, do your best to comply immediately, or apologize and explain any possible delay.
• Ask permission before you take a seat and do not assume that you may sit on the furniture unless you have discussed so prior. Some Dominants expect their submissive/slave to stand or kneel nearby.
• Always remember to say "Thank You" for any privilege granted.
• Do not pout! If you ask permission for something and are denied, accept it, do not pout or ask questions.
• Do not flirt or show undo interest in someone else, it does not show your best side to act shallow.
• Do not correct your Dominant in public, if you wish to correct him or her do it privately and with respect.
• Do not argue with your Dominant in public, if you feel the need to say something, then request a discrete separation to talk to him or her, but again remember to show respect.
• Do not raise your voice or question your Dominant.
• Do not whine, it is a good way to loose the option to speak for the night.
• Do not be overly affectionate in public, instead follow your Dominant’s lead. Allow the Dominant to set the mood and decide to what degree the behavior should be.
• Never constantly look at your watch, it says that you would rather be somewhere else, other than at your Dominant’s side. If you have been instructed to keep an eye on time to be able to make an appointment then do so discreetly, do not be obvious.
• Always have a pen and paper available in case your Dominant may need it.
• If going to a place that serves alcohol, never drink to excess, you must be able to tend to your Dominant at all times. Also never allow your Dominant to drink and drive or attempt to do so yourself.
• If you cough, sneeze or yawn, say "Excuse me," or "Pardon me."

At all times remember that you are representing your Dominant. If you are unsure of how to behave, just think of how your Dominant would behave and later ask for clarification.

The Wild Rose – Nourishing the Feminine Dominant

~ written by Midori ~

Dominant, kinky women are frustrated, and not in the good way.  They are getting prickly and thorny.

Of course I don’t mean all dominant women are frustrated. There are those who are fulfilled, actualised and satisfied—but seem to be just as many who aren’t. I know this because, in the process of exploring and teaching the art and pleasure of sensual dominance, I’m often privy to the women’s concerns and dissatisfactions. The ugly truth is that many don’t feel heard, understood, appreciated or pleased.

Surprised? You’d think that a woman who has found pleasure in taking charge erotically would get what she wants. Put on the outfit, throw on the attitude and she can just demand for what she wants, right?

No.

There’s a whole lot more that goes into the blossoming of the happy dominant—there are development stages and an art to the cultivation of the feminine dominant which can be as challenging as the most prickly roses.
Each of us harbors vast potential for erotic desires, pleasures and personae, like a mix of mystery seeds within us. As we begin our conscious adult sexual lives, most of us aren’t aware of what our ‘seed packs’ contain. They may be daisies, wild flowers, night blooming jasmine, or belladonna. Rarely do we come equipped with only a single type of seed or a singular sensual predisposition. Even the most dominant woman or man has sensual expressions beyond that. To assume that a woman must conform to one flora type, or that all dominant women have the same flora type in common, is to utterly disregard her uniqueness from the get go. Does her complexity baffle you? Does she not fit your image of a dominant? If so, congratulate her in her uniqueness, for you have a very special rose. To treat these as flaws and letdowns can lead to her frustration and dissatisfaction.

Sadly, most of us let the world around us—parents, religion, media and peers—stick a label on our seed packet, and we blindly accept that as truth of our content. The potential of our libidinous flora is vast, but only if we bother to plant them in fertile soil. If the history of sexual politics is any indication, San Francisco, Seattle and Berlin are among the places with some of the richest cultural ‘soil’ for these seeds to germinate and sprout. These cultural environments provide mulch rich in permission and low in toxic shame factor. Seeds left too long in cultural or domestic environments high in the toxic mix of shame, guilt, judgment and oppression, seem to stifle growth and encourage black mold of bigotry to flourish. Various corners of online cultures also provide conditions that may be sensually rich, or depressingly barren. Sadly, at times of our erotic potential goes unplanted, like seeds left in the bag and forgotten, so we never get the chance to see what might come to bloom.

Let’s say that a woman has the chance to plant her sensual seeds in a lush environment, and from that sprout a range of pleasures, from sweet and gentle to ravishing, or even demanding and commanding. She has her initial thrills with engaging her dominance. Perhaps her lover’s permission made this fruitful condition possible, or maybe it was something she read, or a workshop she attended. Permission to explore is the starts this growth, but this permission alone isn’t enough for a woman to find full joy in sensual dominance. The Dominant hasn’t blossomed yet.

If the lover does nothing more than give permission, but doesn’t continue to encourage, celebrate and honor her explorations, it’s akin to forgetting to water the plant after it starts to sprout. Don’t expect that simply finding the initial spark of dominance is all she needs to instantly gain the confidence to know and get what she wants. She may be facing an entire lifetime of labels and expectations to overcome. It’s a vulnerable time where the growth could be stunted, embittered, twisted with resentment or even killed off. These things will happen if you expect perfection, total confidence, and full delivery of your fantasy. She is not your FemBot fantasy machine. She is a real woman. Keep in mind that without the proper nurturing even the most enthusiastic seedling can wither and desires crumble.

The proper nourishment of the budding dominant depends also on her own efforts to truly understand what pleases her. If she let’s others tell her what she should enjoy, whether that’s her lover or her newfound kinky community, she’s fallen back into unexamined passivity, and that’s not any sort of empowered state of dominance. Even if a woman is being bitingly bitchy and domineering, she’s demurring into angry passivity if she’s behaving based on what she thinks she’s supposed to do. She’s now effectively stunted or twisted her dominant growth potential.

She needs to examine deeply what truly makes her happy. Her lover or bottom can be an integral part of this by genuinely caring about her joy and actively engaging in dialogue with her on what thrills her. It’s tragically common for a bottom to simply assume that what they want is also what the dominant wants. Listen to her and nourish her with what feeds her desires. 

Tips for weeding out pretenders

I have come across a few 'submissive' males who find it hard to commit to Female Dominants

Initially they are all keen with the thought of sex being part and parcel of their service to you but when they find out that non-sexual service is the expectation, it doesn’t quite thrill them any longer.  Of course sex can be part of your dynamic but on your terms.

Tips for weeding out pretenders may include:

·         Morning and evening text by a set time

·         Write a short story/poem by a strict deadline.

·         Provide a face photo asap

·         Meet for a coffee or drink not long after communication has commenced



(100090)

Opinions on Service 3

From a Sister:

There are those who serve from a true need to do so, they derive their pleasure from pleasing others. They don't expect a "reward" as we think of it. Doing it well, and seeing a positive reaction IS the reward.

There are those who serve because of the person they are with and their desire to see that person happy. It's not a need they have, but something they are willing to do because it is desired by someone they care for. Those usually do need some form of payback, even if it's just positive attention and affection.

These may look the same, even sound a bit the same, but the motivation is completely different.

Then there are the tit for tat types...service is fine so long as there is always a reward / play after service is provided. Not my type, but I know of people who have made such arrangements as service of a particular form in return for play...it has it's place.


The sexual doesn't enter into it for me...I either want it or not, but it can't be earned. It isn't dependent on service.

Opinions on Service 2

From a Sister:

I have more than one sub and all of them contribute some service to our varying relationships (I'm poly, but the relationships vary because everyone is different).

One is a polyamorous partner (secondary both ways), decades-long dear friend & lover, and occasional service sub. He installed eyebolts to start my playroom, has moved heavy goods, and has plans (which I need to nag) to fell a tree in my yard this winter.

One is a service sub who volunteered for my garden and yard needs, and the range of chores has grown and become seasonal. We get together usually once or twice a week; he'll deal with his chores/projects, cleans up, and we have a play date. (He also loves to experiment with new toys, contributing to both our fun!) He's great fun to play with, we both leave smiling. I find our relationship style that of service top & service bottom.

And another sub is only present a few weeks of the year; when he is present, however, his relationship is closest to that of the mythical "twue subbie" (TM pending). His desire to be of service to me is quite literal; what can I do to make my lady's life easier? Sometimes he fetches me something to drink before I ask; sometimes he works on my antiquated house wiring. And sometimes he just squats quietly next to me at a play party so that he can observe and anticipate what I'll need/want next. Carrying toy bags? Opening doors? Cleaning toys? It works for us.


I love them all, in different ways. ;-)

Opinions on Service

From a Sister:

I define "service" as any non-sexual, non-play, service provided by a slave or submissive. everything from a massage, to cleaning the cat box.

I have in the past had play-only relationships, however I do not currently have that dynamic with anyone. I expect partners to provide service at some level, even in a play only relationship. Carry the gear bags, set up, tear down, general fetching of anything I might want or need.

I have a full time live in slave who is a service slave , as well as a "play partner".  Having come from a primarily play-only type background, his diving into a full-time service position has been a journey to say the least.


Rewards for his excellent and thoughtful service, as first and foremost, expressions of thanks, or gratitude, as appropriate; secondly, rewards of types of play he enjoys, or even rewards of a more vanilla nature.


I do not feel I am dependent upon his service, as I am able to do those things for myself when I so choose. However the joy of having a service slave is that those things are done to make my life easier.

Play Party - 7/12/14

I arrived at the Play Party unaccompanied with a submissive at 8.00pm.  Ms Neta was alone and enjoyed walking in alone.  I always have submissives or slaves in attendance at PPs or munches but this time, not.  And it was liberating.

The venue was bustling with numerous kinksters.  It was beautiful to be around like-minded. 

I walked around greeting veterans and newbies. 

I was gifted a beautiful Bullwhip from one of my FemDom friends and her slave.  Totally unexpected gift but so very much appreciated.  Bless them.

The Co-ordinator of the Group announced for everyone to introduce themselves around the Group so people were familiar with our fetnames. 

After introductions, I continued my meet and greets with the various kinksters from both south and north.

Not long after, the Co-ordinator and I were in discussions about teaching the newcomers new skills when I was approached by sammi who asked if I would spank him.  I spoke with his Mistress and she gave her approval for the play.

Sammi enjoys me spanking his cute little bitch arse.  I started off with hand spanking, then paddle, strap, feathers in between as he is a giggler, then back to impact play.  His arse went a lovely shade of bright red.  The play went for half an hour.

Next, I was approached by my sister FemDom who wanted lessons in caning.  I asked the Co-ordinator to give her an overview on the theory of caning, B&D, and I would be in not long after to demonstrate.

I finished with sammi, had a glass of water, chatted to a few more kinksters as I made my way to the bigger dungeon.  The lesson was underway.  Caning was always used for punishment however over the years it has become a kink activity that many kinksters enjoy.  1 demerit point equals 6 cane strokes.  Punishment coupled with scolding is always effective when giving a punishment, or for the wicked fun of it.  My sister FemDom practiced on a cushion first to get her aim right, plus a lesson on where to cane was outlined.  She then directed her slave to lay on the rack, pull his pants down, and she proceeded to practice on bare flesh.  Wonderful to watch those welts rise.

We moved away to let her enjoy the caning.  Her slave wasn't too happy but he is in service to his mistress and accepts what she gives him.

After the caning, it was decided my sister FemDom would flog her slave.  So off we went to the St Andrew’s Cross.  He was bound to the cross and a good flogging was given.

It was enjoyable.  She even used part of her new bullwhip on him.  Hot.

As I was enjoying the play, I was approached by a kinkster who wanted to be shown how to conduct sensation play on his partner.  I observed, demonstrated various ways, guided him on safety issues.  They were both appreciative and thankful.

I was also one of the Dungeon Monitors for the evening so I perused the play but it was all very low key and everyone was playing safely.  Most were socialising.

Two lots of rope suspension play was happening.  Earlier some Pony Play was done outside.  The Pony looked fabulous.  I missed this scene due to spanking sammi. 

After both subs were taken down from the suspension points, they were in sub space.  My role was to check on them to ensure they were sustained with fluids, and kept warm.

I also observed one male switch had been in handcuffs for a quite a long period of time.  I asked for them to be removed.  No one should have handcuffs any longer than hour.  Circulation is important for the limbs.

I was also asked to be a spotter for an Interrogation scene.  This finally got underway at 11.45pm.  Let me say, this FemDom was feeling tired due to the waiting and watching.  When the scene commenced, I was immediately alert to ensure the no-go zones were not broken.  It was an intense scene, sadly it only went for 15 minutes when the plan was for it to go 45 mins.  The Dominant who was the interrogator was not experienced in this type of play and I believe he found it a little confronting to hurt his partner in this way.  We all enjoyed it but would have loved to have seen more faceslapping, throat squeezing, pulling hair, spitting, swearing and dragging.  Oh well, next time perhaps…

I left about 12.30am and made my way home.  It was an exhausting night but just so fabulous to see all the wonderful local kinksters.

Today 7/12/14

Good evening.

I am resting my weary bones this evening.  The weekend has been unbelievably busy.

Friday was busy with family commitments.

Saturday was busy baking in preparation for the play party that night, and our boy's birthday the next day.

Saturday night left for the play party at 7.15pm and arrived at 8.00pm to a wonderful crowd of kinky folk.  Will elaborate further tomorrow.

Arrived home at 1.00am.  Tired.

Woke up Sunday morning at 7.30am to prepare more food for the hungry little males for the birthday party - Laser Skirmish.  Thankfully I am an organised Woman, Mother, Dominant, and so had everything ready for our 9.15am departure to the venue.

Busy morning arranging food and drink for the return of the hungry hordes.   It was terrific.  All the food went except for a couple of sticks of vegetables.  It was incredible to see the food disappear.  As I said, hungry hordes of little males. Bless them.

We arrived home at1.00pm.  I had a cup of tea then left to undertake my volunteer duties.  Busy busy.

I arrived home at 4.00pm...

...and collapsed.

I spoke to a couple of potentials but unfortunately they failed the simple tasks set for them.  I am glad I set these tasks for potentials as it demonstrates their genuine commitment to the FemDom Lifestyle NOT the Kinky lifestyle.

One day, those who are genuine in seeking FLR or FemDom will find me and be truly happy in their chosen path.

Thanks

This post is a thank you to both slave russ and slave mani for being in my realm recently.

Their contracts have ceased with me.  Our time together was short but we had a lovely time together during that period.

I just wanted to convey my appreciation to them both, and wish them all the very best in their pursuit for kinky happiness.

Dinner 2/12/14

Well slave mani cooked for me and the family this evening.

A chicken noodle dish.  It was quite pleasant.

He has a lot to learn about domestic service though.  Setting the table, serving the meal, cleaning up after cooking, clearing the table, serving me correctly, ensuring my glass is filled, cleaning the kitchen after meal finished.

Focussing on his continued service to me rather than his phone.

However, this is his first time to 'cook' for a Mistress and her family... and being a newbie in this type of service was a little nerve-wracking for him.  The food was pleasant and everyone enjoyed it.

Being attentive when in my presence is not his strong point I have observed.  That said, he is on a short-term contract and he has experienced various types of service in the short time with me so if nothing else, this sweet slave will go away with some new experiences.

We did not meet tonight to play due to venue being unavailable.  Let me say, it is nice being in bed on this cold damp evening, relaxing with a glass of wine and reading a book...oh and updating my blog.

Tomorrow, slave will spend some time with my submissive.  I am sure they will have a lovely outing together.

Another FemDom Game

A group of submissives/slaves are commanded to masturbate over a large biscuit like a wagon wheel that is on a small table that they stand around. The last submissive/slave to orgasm wins the biscuit and has to eat it. 

Simple and a fun game for a FemDom Tea Party??

PROTOCOL (guide/suggestion to create your own)

How the protocol should be undertaken? / How do you expect the submissive to act?

How do YOU expect the submissive/slave to behave:

How to address you in public and private

How to dress in public and private

How to sit / Where to sit in public and private

How to serve in private

How to eat / When to eat

How to shower / bathe

How to groom for your Dominant

How to greet you in morning / evening

How to behave in public

  

This is a model for the relationship. It is the Dominants' responsibility to establish the protocol. DO NOT send your submissive out on the net looking for that “magic” protocol that must be followed.  Create your own protocols from the above, and add more as your experience grows.

Upcoming Service this week for slave mani - Dec 2014

• Tuesday, 2nd Dec:  slave mani cooking dinner for myself and family
• Wednesday, 3rd Dec:  slave mani and I will scene this evening - I am thinking a foot massage and perhaps a spanking with the paddle :)
• Thursday, 4th Dec: slave mani and sub bill will go out to movies this evening
• Saturday, 6th Dec: slave mani will help to set up for the TasBDSM Christmas Play Party.  He will then experience a variety of scenes that evening.  Pony and Dog play, flogging, bondage and perhaps caged, serving of food and drinks and in between all the fun, service to me. Lucky him.

A busy line-up of Domestic, General and Personal service this week for slave mani.


(99024)

30/11/14 - More service

I undertake volunteer work on a weekly basis.  Animal welfare is my interest.

slave mani joined me on this day and we progressed to the two facilities where we feed and hydrate animals, change their beddings and interact with the the beautiful ones.

slave mani enjoyed himself and thoroughly enjoyed feeding and interacting with the animals.

Thank you slave mani for your assistance on this morning.

29/11/14 - Punishment

slave mani received 16 cane strokes on Saturday.  The punishment was a collection of tardiness in relation to his morning and goodnight texts.

The punishment was given promptly when slave arrived to undertake some domestic duties at my residence.

He did well.  The last two cane strokes had him yelping.

It is hoped he has learned his lesson and will continue to send his morning texts before 9.00am and goodnight texts before 10.00pm, this Mistress will be satisfied with his performance.

Look at those lovely cane marks.  Very nice, strong, red strokes.  16 cane strokes with the Delcrin.  A beautiful cane it is.  Some would call it a foe rather than a friend.  Beautiful!  I will be observing slave mani for the period of his contract to ensure he continues to adhere to the small rules in place.

After his punishment, he proceeded to clean the backyard for my animals well-being.  It was a reasonable job.  He then vacuumed the entrance area, swept the front outside area and the spiderwebs inside.  slave mani is in service to me and his main focus is domestic service.  Lucky boy.