Who is ruling Whom?

I am confused by the actions of a few Female Dominants recently.

I know some Dominants who have taken on submissives.  I am extremely happy for them.  What I find puzzling is that they are not prepared to take their submissives out in public because the submissives aren’t comfortable being around others; privacy or shyness appear to be the main reasons.  They will not do this for their mistresses, and these women are not pushing them to do so.  Is this topping from the bottom?  I do not comprehend why these submissives cannot accompany their mistresses to Events.  There are no expectations for them to follow protocol or play at these organised events... just to be present for their mistresses, and perhaps socialise with like-minded.  Easy.  

So this leads me to ask a few questions... What is a D/s relationship?  What is FemDom?  Who rules the roost really in Female-led relationships?

I am not a 24/7 Mistress... although Jack would probably disagree.  My submissive does not live with me full time but he is available for me whenever I require him... well except during his shift work.

Sure, there have been times where my submissive was unable to accompany me but the majority of times he has definitely made himself available to attend Events, even when a little unwell.

Am I being judgmental towards these Female Dominants?  I suppose just because I do things one way does not mean others should do the same, follow suit, do things my way, we are in different in dominating... however, I am still perplexed by such actions.  Aren’t we the 'Dominant'??  *sighs*

Admittedly, I have become a little flexible over the past year, yes, it took a while.  I tend to see matters in black and white rarely grey.  If I had a submissive who did not wish to accompany me to any Events or meet my kinky friends at all, he would be relinguished immediately and permanently from my life.  No ifs or buts.  I have no time for pandering to the “do me” subs and slaves out there in Kink land.

Are my expectations too high?  Are my standards too high?  Personally, I do not think so.  You must be the best you are in this Life, and not settle for second best.  Love yourself.  Be Proud of Who you are.  A Female Dominant!  A Matriarch!

My image of a Female Dominant is She does not need to be cruel and callous... if anything She would be a nurturer to those who serve her, and surround her.  Those who serve her would always strive to please her because of her quiet strength, intellect and nurturing qualities.  She would not be a pushover and those who would try to manipulate her would find out they were no match...quite quickly.