I saw this article on the internet, which I thought was an excellent read, and I must admit I cannot remember the author therefore I cannot acknowledge him. I wish to share with you nonetheless...
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Domination - refers to taking control of a person or situation through physical, mental, financial or sexual means. A person who exercises this power is called a Dominant; the gender specific titles being Dom for a man, Domme or Dominatrix for a woman. Mistress is a title we use for a Dominant woman.
submission - this refers to the act of yielding to, submitting to or being under the control of something or someone. . Typically, someone who submits to a Domme is referred to as a submissive. Submissives who submit to an extreme degree are called slaves.
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The Article
Femdom strap-on play is a favorite of mine (I term it “femdom strap-on“ for a reason, as I‘ll explain below). I know that many unenlightened men, trapped in male stereotypes, frown at such things, but that’s their loss.
Fact is, the prostate gland is a damn fine erogenous zone, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying it. Not only is stimulation of the prostate enjoyable, but when done right, the penetration itself is. Plus, the levels of pleasure can grow very intense, moving beyond just arousal to types or orgasm all their own.
It’s not strictly a BDSM related activity. There is a submissive quality to it, since the common sexual role is being reversed, but there is no male slave quality necessary. Often the first experimentations in this direction have zero to do with anything BDSM or femdom for that matter.
I know many guys who, in conversations where they feel safe enough to open up, will admit to girls sticking a finger inside of them during oral sex. No dominant women there, in fact the girl may still be in a somewhat submissive position. The anal play is just another way of heightening pleasure.
In the BDSM scene, I’ve met many a dominatrix who has told me that far, far more male tough guys than one would think, have had far more than just a finger put inside of them. Not only loving every bit of it, but begging for more in the future. Guys usually graduate from one step to another, seeking greater anal stimulation, which usually leads to involvement in BDSM and femdom strap-on sex (also known as "Pegging" now). Sexual domination and male submission isn’t far behind since more intense forms of this kind of dildo play require a degree of submissive behavior.
I think the majority of guys who have tried anal play before end up enjoying it. The biggest thing holding most back from experimenting is the idea that doing so somehow makes them gay.
The misconception is that femdom strap-on sex, or even any kind of anal play at all, is somehow indicative of homosexuality. That if you enjoy “pegging”, you must really want another male. Nonsense, though nothing against those who do.
Femdom strap-on sex itself isn’t homosexual. Homosexuality is attraction to the opposite sex. By definition of the words involved, this is a sexual act with a female taking the dominant role, using a harnessed dildo on either other women or men (pegging only applies where there is a male receiving).
I know there are some that will frown at that, simply because they want to link any sort of male submissive anal sex with homosexuality, but that’s incorrect. The want to put some sort of discriminatory spin on something you don’t like is simple ignorance (besides also, it’s a real jerk move to wield “homosexual” as if its an insult).
That’s not to say that people who enjoy femdom strap-on sex might not also tend towards bisexuality. I think bisexuality itself is pretty complex, since there are those who are truly attracted to other men, those who enjoy sex with other men but not relationships, those who have only a very limited sexual attraction to the male penis but not men themselves (these often are into shemales, and considering the explosion that type of porn has seen, I‘d say that group is considerable), those who like dominatrix directed forced bisexuality, and more. Some of these also like pegging play, and others don’t. I think what matters is being honest with yourself and enjoying what you are, without letting the frowns of others limit you.
For me, I’m not into other men. The thought of dominant women dressed in leather, wearing heavy hanging strap-on harnesses, definitely gets me going. A guy does nothing for me at all. Anal stimulation and male submission are the sexual forms, but the attraction remains constant – dominant women. Hot and sexy powerful girls full of sexual confidence.
When taking on the role of a male slave in a BDSM session, I do very much enjoy having a dominatrix use me anally. I think physically, it’s the extreme for me when it comes to sexual domination. I sometimes think its more the fantasy and anticipation than the actual act of pegging, but I think that can be chalked up more to the experience of the dominatrix. One who knows what she is doing with a strap-on can take you to amazing places in terms of sexual pleasure. One who is clumsy takes you other places. When it comes to messing around back there in any femdom sense, look for more than sexy dominant women, look for someone with a clue. Really keep that in mind it you add bondage to this, and don’t gag unless you are certain of who you are with.
It’s definitely an act of male submission to some degree, I don’t think anyone could explain their way around that. The reversal of roles alone shifts the sides of sexual domination, what with the male now being on the normally female receiving end. But if you can get beyond the “what men are supposed to be” stereotypes, what you’ll find through anal play will be well worth the experimentation. Usually if you can accept women in the dominant role, you have already made a solid step towards enjoying the pleasures of a strap-on.
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