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Before I go further, I'd like to say that the following opinions are mine, based on years of being a part of the Ds community. You may agree with them or you may not, and that's fine, it's all part of diversity. But I've been reflecting a lot on the nature of a bottom recently, and thought it would be interesting to write some of this down.
Here we go!
First of all, let's get one thing straight, bottoms don't really serve and submit, they're into Ds for a temporary power exchange, for fetish, and for sensation. Ultimately it's all about them, all of the time. It's not about the Dominant, they are just a means to an end. Got it? Good. There are many kinds of bottoms, and I'd like to explore this theme a bit.
The first type of bottom is the person of kink, the fetishist. They have a particular form of fetish ( a "footie" or Adult Baby comes to mind) that is a core need for sexual arousal, and they've found out through experience that a nilla partner won't understand/accept this need. So they join the ranks of pseudo submissive's and trade token submission/role play so they can have their needs fulfilled and be accepted. The truth of the situation is that they are not really interested in or capable of submission, it's all about them and their need, and not about the Dominant. When their needs are met, the switch is turned off on their "submission" until they have need again.
Now if their fetish happens to be an interest of yours, and you know their limitations, and accept this, by all means go and have fun if that makes you happy. But due to their limited focus, they really can't be collared or owned for it's not about real submission to them, it's about their relationship to a fetish.
The next form of bottom can be amusing, I call them the "Bedroom Slut". They're a bit more versatile then the person of kink, they can get into things like bondage, forms of light sensation, and maybe a bit of service too. But it's all driven by the hopes of supersex. The core is sex, sex, and more sex, and it's all about them and their needs.
Once again, the focus is all about them and their needs, but on occasion they will think about the needs of the Dominant if it gets them closer to their goal. They usually don't want a long term relationship, they don't want to be really owned or collared, They're basically the Ds version of "Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am".
When the thrill is gone, they're quickly down the road again, seeking a new thrill, it's all about them and their own fulfillment. They love the chase and the drama. They can be a thrill ride, but the ride usually is over sooner then later, so you have been warned. And of course, as with all bottoms, their "submission" is token and temporary. Usually in their pursuit of the Dominant they'll come with the disclaimer plastered on their forehead, "In the Bedroom Only". And they mean it, it's all about them and role play, so once again, there is no ownership, collar or submission.
Then there's the "Accidental Tourist" bottom, more commonly known as the "I'm-married/living-with nilla-and-they-don't-understand/accept-my needs" bottom. Oh everyone knows this scenario, so I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this. It's all about them, their needs with an added level of need for discretion. They are token, and not really available for anything substantial, and they are very limited. Because in fact, they are already owned, and have nothing real to offer, so you can never collar them, or expect real submission. And don't kid yourself, if you challenge them to change, they will bolt and find someone else to be "more understanding" of their situation. There's a lot of drama inherent in all of this, so pass on this one if you can, or send them to a Pro.
Another form of a bottom is better known as the "Drop Dead Masochist". Somewhere in their formative years they discovered that intense sensation leads to pleasure, and loved it. They submit to the sensation, not the person. They will offer token submission for the duration of a scene if they know their needs will be met. Once the scene is done, so are they. They usually have no interest in service and will take affront if you want them to go there. It is all about them and sensation, they never want to be owned or collared, so know this before you deal with them. If all you're looking for is some deep play, fine, but if you want more, they are not capable of this.
Then there's what I call the "Delusional" bottom. They're all about role play and posing, but they really don't submit, it's all about show and attention for them. They truly believe that they're a super submissive, and will try to Top from the bottom like mad to achieve whatever form of this fantasy they need. They never really give up control, and don't want to either, it's all superficial, all the time. They will do what they can to feed this delusion, and when presented with real submission, they will bolt faster then you can say hello. Unfortunately, this form of bottom is everywhere nowadays, and if they're good at manipulation, they can pass as a submissive for a certain amount of time, but sooner or later the facade will crack. They usually have some form of deep allure, and know how to use it. And since there is no real submission, there is no real collar, it's all just for show.
You can test someone to see if they're this kind of bottom by asking them for something outside of their scripted fantasy, something simple like cleaning the bathroom without any form of play or fetish to give the task gloss. Move aside, for they'll knock you down in their haste to be down the road to find a new someone who "understands their gift of submission". (Don't ever get me started on that statement, it's not pretty.) So of course, there is no real collar or submission with this kind of bottom, just a lot of drama and headache, so pass on this one is you can.
Next on the list is the ever popular "Take Down" bottom. They don't want real submission, they don't want to be responsible for being a submissive, because in their heart of hearts they don't really want to serve, in fact they see it as a form of weakness. If they are "forced", they don't have to be ultimately responsible, someone "made" them do this or that. Their reality is that they never want to give up control, period. A popular form of this kind of bottom is the brat. They want a lot of attention/sensation, and will do something naughty/disrespectful to Top from the bottom and to provoke the Dominant to act. And the Dominant is damned if they do act, and damned if they don't, for the bottom is manipulating everything to get the attention/sensation they want. It's all about their wants/needs, they're high maintenance, and it's all about a power struggle, not an exchange. Since they're always ultimately in control, they can never be collared or owned. I don't get brats, and I never will. Who needs this kind of constant drama? I sure don't.
The final form of bottom is the "Black Hole of Need" bottom, or what I refer to as the "succubus" or "incubus" bottom. Once you realize that you're dealing with one of these, run, don't walk to the nearest exit. They basically embody all of the bottoms listed above, and will drain the very life out of you. Their need is great in every area; they want kink, they want play, they want sensation, they want delusion, sex, the whole enchilada, and it's always all about them, period. If you feed them, their appetites will grow, they will want new sensation, new play, new kink, it goes on and on. It's never about the Dominant or for the Dominant, for they're in service to their own desires, period. And once you stop feeding them, they will head right out the door seeking someone new in a heartbeat, for remember, it's all about them, all of the time.
So there you have it, a glossary on bottoms. I know that there's some forms that I've missed, so feel free to add your voice to this.
MzAttitude2Day
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